Dating apps gatbage

I like to try everything at least once, especially when it’s a popular dating app that everyone seems to be talking about. Despite the fact that it’s known for being a hookup app—something that admittedly scared me off initially—I decided to give it a chance anyway and here’s what I discovered:

Everyone is scared of making the first move.

Sending that first message requires a lot of thought and preparation because nobody wants to receive another “hey” message—that’s just lazy. Trust me, I would spend at least 15 minutes trying to gain the courage to talk to someone and another 10 minutes trying to think of a good conversation starter. It’s stressful!

It’s hard to keep a conversation flowing for longer than 10 minutes.

The downside to online dating is that most people will run out of things to say before the conversation has really taken off. At that point, you have two choices: to resurrect it or to move on to the next one. Most people choose the latter simply because it’s the easier option and it becomes this tiring process of swiping, talking, and then back to swiping again.

Being asked for nudes is almost expected.

 I was already skeptical about online dating and within a few hours of downloading Tinder, I was asked if I wanted to swap nudes. WTF? It sucks that so many guys are on there just for this reason—it makes it even more frustrating for those of us who are actually trying to find love.

The connection dies before the first date happens.

 There have been times when I’ve been talking to someone for a few hours or a few days even and it feels like we’ve really hit it off. Then the inevitable happens—he disappears. No more messages and any plans for a first date have flown out of the window yet again. It makes me wish I’d never gotten my hopes up.

Meeting someone from Tinder is scary AF—what if he’s a murderer?

 To be honest, even if I thought I was talking to the most amazing guy, I’d still have to think twice about meeting him in real life. I’ve heard enough Tinder horror stories to turn me off ever meeting someone from a dating app.

It’s a good way to pass the time when you’re bored.

 I’m stuck in traffic? That’s okay, I’ll just get out my phone and start swiping like my life depends on it. It becomes quite an addictive game for all the wrong reasons. The longer I was on there, the more it felt like I was only using it as a distraction even though the purpose of it was to find a date. There are too many options, so it’s no wonder it becomes so time-consuming.

To some extent, we all judge based on appearances.

 Obviously, there has to be some level of attraction, which is why most of us judge so harshly based on a few photos. Still, Tinder made me feel incredibly shallow swiping left on someone who could have been the most amazing person had I just given them a chance.

A good bio makes all the difference.

On Tinder, you have to be able to sell yourself. A few sentences will determine if loads of people swipe right on you so the pressure is definitely on. I spent a long time trying to think of a bio that would make me come across as a funny, genuine, creative person but in the end, I felt like I was trying way too hard.

It’s less about finding love and more about getting an ego boost.

It’s sad that so many people don’t take it seriously anymore. Believe it or not, to some people it’s all about the numbers. They care more about how many matches they can get than they do about actually starting a conversation and finding a date. That’s why so many of your matches never reply to your messages—they’re simply not interested. Still, they’ll continue to swipe right anyway and make you think that they’re interested because as long as their ego is being stroked, they couldn’t care less.

Social media is a better option.

Let me tell you, it’s so easy to flirt on Twitter or Instagram. A like or a comment can go a long way and it’s not as intimidating as starting a conversation on a dating app. Plus, it’s easier to get to know someone through reading their tweets rather than a short dating bio. Why would I even waste my time on Tinder?

You either love it or hate it.

Trust me, I can definitely see the appeal in using dating apps like Tinder, but it just wasn’t for me. Online dating isn’t dead, but you need to have a lot of patience and the confidence to deal with any rejection that comes your way. For me, it felt like a waste of time. I tried it, I hated it, and if I were single again, I don’t think I would ever re-download it.

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Coralle Skye Coralle is a freelance writer and blogger with a special interest in Mental Health & wellness, Women's health, and relationships. Find her at justcoralle.com

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