Best dating apps in central florida

So you’re single in Orlando and you want to meet that special someone?

You’re better off moving to Scranton.

Or Iowa City or Akron or Oshkosh or Toledo or Fargo or even Waterloo.

That’s the heartbreaking news for Central Florida’s lovelorn, brought to you by Zumper, which immediately raises two questions.

What’s a Zumper, and how does it know where singles are likely to meet?

It’s a website for rental properties, which doesn’t exactly make it Match.com. But it did a pretty comprehensive analysis of dating factors and applied them to the 382 U.S. metro areas listed by U.S. Office of Management and Budget.

The end result is the Best Cities for Singles 2018. Its key indicators were percentage of singles, percentage with college degrees, restaurants and bars per capita, access to dating apps and the median rental price of a one-bedroom apartment.

Crunch those numbers and it’s enough to make Buddy Dyer call an emergency meeting of the Orlando Swinging Singles Commission.

That earned a C grade. But consider that the Albany-Schenectady-Troy area in New York got an A. So did Trenton, N.J.

Would you really go rather go hunting for Mr. or Mrs. Right in Schenectady than Orlando?

Apparently so, at least if you want to meet a college graduate sitting at a bar swiping away at their Tinder app, and then taking that person back to watch Netflix at your moderately-priced apartment.

Oh, one other thing. The Russians must have hacked this election to make Moscow look good.

Of the top 20 cities, only one is a warm-weather locale. Los Angeles comes in at No. 19.

Yes, even swinging L.A. is behind Pittsfield, Mass., which at last report was still under eight feet of snow.

The top 50 are dominated by places where the guy or girl you meet is likely to sound like Tony Soprano, Edward Kennedy (a real swinger when he was alive) or the cast of Fargo.

As we say in the South, somethin’ ain’t right here.

The highest-ranked Southern city is none other than Gainesville, which came in at No. 37. Tallahassee was No. 56 and Miami – South Beach and all – was No. 80, right behind Utica, N.Y.

At least Orlando topped Jacksonville (No. 121, C-minus), Tampa-St. Pete (No. 127, C-minus) and even Sin City Las Vegas (No. 134, D-plus).

The No. 1 spot on the list is Boulder, Col., which has 31 bars/restaurants for every 1,000 people, most of whom are probably majoring in Women’s Studies at the University of Colorado.

The worst place for singles is Elizabethtown-Fort Knox, KY. Just 61 percent of the population is single, only 15 percent has a college degree and the only place to get a drink is apparently a moonshine still hidden in the backwoods

Heck, I’d still rather take my chances there than in Rochester (No. 23, B-plus).

But if you’re single in Orlando and fear you might end up living in a monastery, go ahead and move to one of the cities the Zumper recommends.

Just be sure to take a jacket. You’re going to need it.