Why dating apps is good for interpersonal communication

Abstract: The dating world has been shifted with the introductions and growth of social networking and dating applications such as Tinder and Bumble. This growth of dating platforms has also had a growing impact on the ways in which relationships are formed and grow. This paper will explore the impacts that Tinder and Bumble continue to have on dating and relationships. 

Keywords: Tinder, Bumble, dating, relationships, social networking, online dating

Dating sites and applications have shifted the world of dating in significant ways. Dating applications such as Tinder and Bumble have entered the dating world and have brought a wide variety of positives and negatives when compared to the more traditional dating method. The main positive being the level of accessibility and ease of use (Bryant & Sheldon, 2017). Dating has seen evolution from chat rooms to online dating sites such as eHarmony which allowed individuals add pictures to their profile and create ‘advertisements’ for themselves to now having an application at the top of your fingers (LeFebvre, 2017). Growing numbers of teenagers and young adults are utilising online social networking sites and applications as ways to find relationships and sexual partners (Blunt-Vinti et.al., 2016). On the other side of the spectrum, middle-aged and older individuals utilise these resources as ways to meet more people without the set intentions of relationships or sexual partners (Vandeweerd et.al.,2016). Due to the growing popularity of applications such as Tinder and Bumble, online relationships are strongly impacted. This paper will analyse the positive and negative impacts that online dating applications such as Tinder and Bumble have on relationships. 

Social networking sites such as Facebook and Instagram continue to grow and gain popularity as they allow people to communicate and connect, these platforms have also had an impact on interpersonal communication which is a large aspect of an individuals life (Source A, Das & Sahoo, n.d; Source B, Subramanian, 2017). Social networking sites have had a strong impact on the ways in which individuals share and communicate with each other, creating a level of ease particularly to communicate with individuals overseas or a long distance away (Subramanian, 2017). Although social networking has positively affected the way we communicate and created a level of ease in how individuals across the world communicate, it has also negatively affected the way in which we communicate. Through allowing us to easily communicate without having to do so face-to-face, social networking sites have made people more reliant on messaging, commenting on each other’s posts, and any form of communication that does not involve face to face communication (Subramanian, 2017). Therefore with individuals relying heavily on social networking sites as forms of communication, this can have a large defining factor within a relationship. 

According to Mesch and Talmud (2006), the quality of social relationships is lower when created through online platforms when compared to those made in a more traditional manner, this being through face to face interactions and over the telephone. The quality is lower due to the level of intimacy that is experienced and shared when face to face with an individual. Intimacy within this context relates to support, bonding, love and self-closeness (Lomanowska & Guitton, 2016). Although the internet and social networks have created platforms that allow individuals to meet new people and communicate with people around the world, when it comes to thoroughly establishing and maintaining relationships within the online world, it is said to be less effective than face-to-face communication (Cummings et.al. 2002). According to Cummings et.al (2002), students also found communicating through emails and online platforms was not as effective in maintaining personal relationships when compared to talking over the phone or face to face. Individuals are able to create different level of ties through social networking site. Ties have a variety of characteristics ranging from how they were formed, the closeness of the relationship and how often individuals are in contact (Donath & Boyd, 2004). Social networking sites allow individuals to create ties that will either grow into strong ties, the type that is present between family, close friends and within relationships, or ties that will remain weaker through lack of continuous contact (Donath & Boyd, 2004). Stronger ties are harder to maintain as they require more effort and time, with a lack of communication and effort ties will not grow to be strong or they can deteriorate to being weaker ties (Donath & Boyd, 2004). Therefore although social networking sites create ease of communication they also create difficulty in creating and maintaining strong relationships.

Online dating is an activity that is often viewed in a negative way universally, with people often having a level of scepticism towards the activity. Particularly Tinder and Bumble, these applications are seen to be the least respectable within the online dating world (YouGov Staff, 2017). Although there is a level of scepticism towards online dating, the attitude towards the activity has been growing positively within the last 8 years (Smith & Duggan, 2013). According to Smith and Duggan (2013), 59% of individuals that utilise the internet agree with online dating being a good and effective way to meet new people. Within the same study, internet users were also asked if they agreed with online dating being a method that allows people to find better matches for themselves, 53% of Internet users agreed with this statement, this being 6% more than the results in 2005 to the same query (Smith & Duggan, 2013). Surveys that have been conducted have found that close to 50 million people within America have tried online dating sites or applications (Matthews, 2018). Within the close to 50 million individuals that have explored the realm of online dating, 84% of those individuals used the online dating sites and applications as a way to find relationships (Matthews, 2018). Through research conducted, it was found that adolescents often find a level of ease with meeting new people and initiating sexual and romantic relationships when online, although with the level of ease they find it more satisfying and less risky when these relationships are initiated offline (Blunt-Venti et.al., 2016). With young adults aged 18 – 24 making up a large group of online dating site and application users, it has also been found that adults aged between 55 and 64 have also began turning to online dating websites and apps, this shows that online dating is not only limited to a certain age group (Tsukayama, 2016). Therefore this shows that the stigma and attitude surrounding online dating is beginning to shift and become more positive, which encourages more people to use online dating platforms and open themselves up to the possibility of online relationships. 

This then opens the discussion of how social networking sites tie within this argument: how social network dating sites such as, Tinder and Bumble have positive and negative impacts on online and offline relationships. Tinder and Bumble are both social network dating applications that are utilised for the goal of meeting new people and finding relationships. As previously discussed, a higher level of closeness and intimacy is created through face to face communication rather than online communication (Cummings et.al., 2002). Often Tinder and Bumble users have not met each other in person prior to matching or seeing each other on the applications, therefore having relationships that are then solely developed through online applications can have an impact on the length and intimacy within relationships.

All dating sites and applications, although having a similar overall goal, are created to cater for different groups of people and different needs (Lebowitz & Cheng, 2017). For example, the application Her is one that is created solely for lesbian, bisexual and queer individuals that are looking for dates and/or friends (Lebowitz & Cheng, 2017). Tinder is described to be a dating application that is used by younger daters, with intentions that vary from serious relationship to hookups (Lebowitz & Cheng, 2017). Bumble is described to be an application that is mainly used by females, this is due to the application being known for the feature that allows women to be the ones to make the first move which provides women with reassurance as they do not have to fear the crude opening messages that often come with online dating sites and applications (Lebowitz & Cheng, 2017). Match has more than 42 million users across 25 countries, Tinder has more than 50 million users over 190 countries (Matthews, 2019), and Bumble has more than 46 million users across a smaller amount of countries, these mainly being United States, Canada, United Kingdom and Australia, with a growing country catalogue (Dating Sites Reviews, 2019). This shows that more ‘traditional’ dating sites such as Match are being faced with strong competition from ‘modern’ dating applications such as Tinder and Bumble which have changed the ways in which individuals date and interact romantically. 

Tinder is a dating application that is location based that is continuing to take the dating world by storm, particularly young adults with more than half of Tinder users being aged 18 – 24 (Newett et.al., 2017). Tinder is an application that is free to download and requires users to link their Facebook account when creating a profile which adds a level of difficulty towards people creating fake accounts (Newett et.al., 2017). Tinder is often seen as the application individuals utilise for a hookup, but according to a study conducted on the reasons participants , only 5% of participants expressed joining the app with the intentions of hooking up, 8.9% of participants expressed joining the application with the desire of beginning a relationship (LeFebvre, 2017). Other reasons that lead to individuals selecting to use Tinder include, the popularity of the application, the level of ease when using the application, desire for interpersonal relationships, and a level of curiosity (LeFebvre, 2017). The motivations for use vary across a wide range, but they also show how online dating has shifted since the onset of mobile dating applications. 

Bumble is an application that is similar to Tinder. It is also an application that is location based and requires users to sign up using their Facebook profiles. Both application utilise a swiping method to match with potential partners, this method is solely based on the pictures and biography on ones profile (LeFebvre, 2017). If an individual likes the look of an individuals profile they will swipe right as a show of interest, or swipe left as a show of disinterest, if both users swipe right on each other this results in a match, once matched then users can begin conversations (LeFebvre, 2017). The biggest difference between Tinder and Bumble is the process after ‘matching’ with a potential suitor. On Tinder, either individuals within the match can message first, for example: either the male or female can message first. This is different on Bumble, when people match, the woman is then put in control of starting a conversation, the woman must send the first message within 24 hours of matching with an individual or the match will then disappear (Kindred, 2018). This puts in a shift in dating as often men are encouraged to make the first move, this application allows women to have the power of starting a conversation which is different to the traditional approach. Bumble also has a feature which verifies users, this gives users a peace of mind that the profile they are viewing is a real person and not a fake, this is a feature that Tinder does not offer (Kindred, 2018). 

Bumble is an application that is attempting to put an end to the expectations put on women in online dating. These online dating applications have tainted the ways in which individuals create relationships and remain the strength of their relationships. Bumble is shifting the power to women to reduce the negativity surrounding of the expectations put on women within the online dating world. Whilst Bumble is an application that is thriving to reduce the level of harassment that women endure by giving them the power, Tinder is an application that is known for having high levels of harassment which has a growing negative impact on relationships and how they develop. Online dating applications such as Tinder and Bumble are thought to invoke a higher level of harassment when compares to in person dating, this is due to individuals hiding behind a screen (Fetters, 2018). Although dating applications have allowed individuals to have access to a wider range of people to potentially date, it has also come with the possibility of harassment which continues to have a negative impact on dating. Dating applications having the possibility of harassment can often deter individuals from signing up out of fear, with 42% of women that have used a dating site or application having reported receiving a message that made them uncomfortable and bothered (Pacific Standard Staff, 2014). This high level of harassment contributes to the negative stigma that surrounds online dating which then flows into the development of online relationships as it creates a layer of fear of women. 

 Instagram accounts such as Bye Felipe and Tinder Nightmares are accounts that explore and expose the constant harassment that individuals, mainly women, face within the realms of online dating sites and applications (Thompson, 2018). Majority of verbal harassment that women face on online dating applications such as tinder are aimed towards their looks, whether that be their weight, physical looks and personalities (Thompson, 2018). Online dating applications such as Tinder have continued to aid and unknowingly increase in the harassment of women both on and off the application (Thompson, 2018). Tinder has and continues to have a negative impact on the nature of relationships, women often have unsaid expectations from men to be willing to partake in hook ups or casual sex (Thompson, 2018). With the growth of sexual harassment towards women, often women feel the need to write their expectations in their bio, for example; not interested in a one night stand or looking for something serious (Thompson, 2018). Although Bumble is a similar application with the same aim of assisting individuals to find relationships, the founder of Bumble, Whitney Wolfe, was a former co-owner of Tinder who personally experienced the harassment that occurs on the application (Garcia, 2017). After experiencing the harassment from the men on Tinder, Wolfe set out to create an application that would put an end to men beginning conversations with crude introductions and comments, hence the application Bumble. As mentioned earlier, Bumble is an application that allows women to make the first move, message first and set the tone of the conversation. This  application has given woman the power to direct and lead the conversation without the pressures of sex and hookups from fellow matched (O’Brien, 2016). 

In conclusion Tinder and Bumble have changed online dating in both negative and positive ways. Online dating applications such as Tinder and Bumble have made online dating easier for individuals and allowed users to make new relationships and ties. The growth and intimacy of relationships has been heavily impacted by dating apps as often women have unspoken expectations put over them to give into casual sex, and give into verbal abuse, unwanted judgments and comments. Applications like Bumble are attempting to put an end to the unspoken exceptions put upon women and shift online dating and relationships into a more positive light. Online dating is shifting the meaning of traditional dating which bring both positive and negative results towards building relationships of strength within the online and offline world. 

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