Guy im dating loses everything should i stay

When I first started dating in my teens, every crush was an obsession, and every relationship was the most important thing in my life (and, TBH, in the world). I became familiar with the signs you're losing yourself in a relationship: the constant phone-checking, the tendency to wait until my friends brought up dating so I could talk about my own significant other, the fantasizing about what our wedding/family/death in our sleep as we romantically held hands would be like. But I just couldn't stop myself.

In other words, I was lost in my relationships — which practicing psychologist and Harvard lecturer Holly Parker, PhD, author of If We're Together, Why Do I Feel So Alone?, defines as "losing the boundary between where your partner stops and you start."

Now, I'm in the first relationship ever that hasn't completely consumed me. I knew I was when I realized that when I run — the time that used to be reserved for my lofty romantic daydreams — I instead think about my career, my travels, and other aspects of my life. For the most part, I only think about my significant other when he's around. And more importantly, I haven't really tried to change myself for him. In fact, I've demanded that he change to better understand and accommodate who I am — because I believe I'm worthy of being his girlfriend already.

I didn't arrive at this point quickly, and I didn't do it by trying to improve my attitude toward relationships. I did it by being single for years and making my life interesting and fulfilling without one. Here are some signs that you might also have gotten lost in your relationship — and what you can do about them.