The 72 hour dating rule for guys

So framing this as "will women think this" or "men think that" is misleading. Some people like to reply to things right away, as soon as they see them. They are not the type to overthink and ponder perfect messages.

They're likely to be the type to agree to meeting up as soon as possible, perhaps even that same day. There's likely a variable of interest that factors in too-if they like your profile, they'll be more likely to respond quickly. This is the kind of dater I am when I'm on OkCupid.

Some people don't like to appear too eager and prefer to take time to compose a thoughtful message that digs deeper in to someone's psyche. These are the people who are likely to have more extensive contact before meeting someone and will plan things out far in advance.

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If someone appeals to them, they may spend even more time planning out their response. Obviously, there are types in between these two ends of the spectrum.

And when people match in their styles, communication is easy and trying to mindread the other person is minimized.

When there's a mismatch, there can be a lot of confusion and angst on both ends.

In the end, do what you're comfortable doing. If the other person responds well to it, great! If not, then who knows, it might be an indicator that there were fundamental differences in communication there to begin with, and you just saved yourself the time and trouble of finding that out some other way. If you did this 4 times in a row, I might think it was a little eager.

I just figured you happened to be online when you get the message. Don't over think it. I know we all do it, but I constantly forget to respond for several days or just can't think of anything clever to say or am too tired to write any kind of vaguely interesting reply.

It doesn't mean I'm not interested.

Some people log into dating website once a week or less. Especially on a free site like OKcupid where you have nothing to lose by being a very casual user.

If you had waited longer and she hadn't responded by now, you'd be asking us if you waited too long. There's no way to know what she's thinking.

Writing back within the hour is not gross. Formulating a well-thought-out response is not gross. Someone wandering away after just one interaction for whatever reason is unfortunately normal, online and in real life. One more piece of advice: avoid checking her profile to see whether she's logged on. A few reasons: 1. This has the potential to distort your frame of mind.

You do not want to lapse into thinking, "So! She has the time to log on to OKCupid to check out other guys, but apparently she can't be bothered to Don't you have some websites bookmarked that you check so often it's reflexive?

At any given moment when I'm online, I'm likely to head to nytimes. Sometimes it's just "I have this computer with internet access in front of me and I'm bored, so I guess I'll go to one of my default sites. You have no way of knowing, so try not to stress about this at all. I have no idea if she's waited a couple days because she's not interested or because she wants to take some extra time to write a good message.

If it's the latter, she might still intentionally log in for any number of reasons that have nothing to do with you. Since you haven't even gotten to the first-date stage yet, it's entirely possible she's actively interested in someone else Or maybe she just got an email alert with a preview of a message from some random guy, and it's so horribly written that she wants to log in to read the message for a good laugh. Maybe she just quit smoking and logged in purely to change the smoking field in her profile to "no.

Online dating 72 hour rule

It would take a pattern of instant enthusiastic responses for me to be freaked out by a short response turnaround time. It's complicated. I am easily smothered. And I mostly get creepy, non-thought-out booty call messages on OKCupid. And I'm not a "you seem neat, let's go out this weekend, person I don't really know" girl.

Think about it, but don't over think it.

It helps to keep sending out messages to other people. Don't focus entirely on someone awesome in the early stages. I try to wait at least a day to compose a message, so that I have time to calm down and not say something stupid. But I let freaking voicemail greetings marinate in the same way, so.

I don't understand this rule you are talking about. What's the point? What's wrong with being excited about communicating with someone and responding quickly? Why play games? Honestly, if I knew the same was going through a potential date's mind while communicating with me, I would be extremely disappointed, because it strikes me as very disingenuous.

If this sounds overly harsh, don't take it personally, since I don't really know you, but consider it a data point when it comes to the kind of mindset that would lead you to overthink the issue as you have. Me: mid-twenties male, also on OkCupid, send messages rarely maybe a week?

The "three day rule" is an outdated piece of dating technology popularized by such films as "Swingers." It is a seemingly sensible yet often unrealistic tactic. The "three day rule" is a rule to prevent a man from appearing desperate or needy after attaining a girl's phone number that he (just) met. Following this rule, you are to wait 3 days before calling in order to create suspense and. Shop for 72 Hour Rule Online Dating Ads Immediately. Free shipping and returns on "72 Hour Rule Online Dating Online Wholesale" for you purchase it today!. Find more Low Price and More Promotion for 72 Hour Rule Online Dating Online Best Reviews 72 Hour Rule Online Dating This really is 72 Hour Rule Online Dating Sale Brand New for the /10(K).

Thank you for all the responses. If anything, the message would get shorter if I remove digressions. I am hearing the advice on not overthinking things.

The first two responses came in so fast I thought I was being stalked. I am gaining it. Cultivate non-attachment. They become the perfect FakeSelf, because it's what everyone seems to think they're supposed to do.

Then they go on dates with people and continue that pattern of attempting to be the "perfect" and "attractive" FakeSelf, and then wait 72 hours to talk to the person again because that's the rule. At this point, one of two things generally happens: 1 the other person realizes that FakeSelf is prioritizing hour rules and perfect attractiveness over actually being a real person, and realizes that FakeSelf is not attractive or perfect at all, or 2 RealSelf is like, "ew, that was a terrible date and I had no chemistry with this person" Yes!

FakeSelf, over time, becomes frustrated and angry at online dating, because gosh darn it, it seems like FakeSelf just puts FakeSelf out there over and over, and nothing ever comes of all that effort. Get it? I mean, what would it be like if you just wrote what you wanted to write to someone, when you wanted to write it? And then, what if you went out on a date and said what you actually thought and felt about things?! Then when we went out, he was being RealSelf with me.

I knew I would never have to wait 3 days before he would call me back. I knew I would never have to wonder whether he was playing me while he was actually into someone else. I knew I would never have to think, "is he just saying that because he thinks it's the right way to respond? Being RealSelf, however, isn't the thing that takes all of the energy and effort-it's being FakeSelf that does.

Apr 01,  · I think a huge part of the reason why online dating seems not to work for a lot of people who use it is that people spend SO MUCH TIME not being themselves. They spend SO MUCH TIME thinking about hour-rules, or how to compose the "attractive" or "perfect" message. Mar 09,  · The traditional 3-day, hour rule now only applies to a select few women and this post will tell you who is in that category and who you should text sooner. Typically the amount of time you should wait to text her will vary, depending on a few factors; the girl, the night, the interaction and the conversation exchange. Mar 07,  · Answers. Best Answer: 72 hour rule means you wait 3 days before calling a girl after having a date. so that you dont look desperate!

So do the thing that's easier, stop wasting your own time, and just be RealSelf from the beginning. I reply pretty much as soon as I get a message - otherwise I'll forget. I basically treat the OKCupid message system like email, or facebook, or text messages.

I don't use any voodoo or Jane Austenian social codes or whatever. I also don't set any stock in how quickly or slowly anyone replies to my messages. It's really all about what they say. Also about getting to the point and asking me out rather than stringing it along for a million rounds.

Don't care, don't notice, and don't use any special rules for my own behavior.

Well, even if men and women think about things the same way all other things being equal, all things are not equal with online dating.

If two people are inherently the same but are in two different situations, it isn't surprising if they act in different ways. A far better tactic to create suspense, for example, would be to send a text message instead telling the girl you will call her at on Tuesday or some other EXACT timebut actually call her at that day.

None of this is to say the "three day rule" is completely wrong; however, it should definitely not be followed dogmatically. Hey man, have you called Clarisse? No, I'm using the three day rule.

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I don't want to seem desperate. How is calling a girl desperate? You don't have to ask her on a date on your first callyou know! Just tell her something cool happened, chat briefly, then say you've gotta go and will talk later.

Are you sure? The three day rule is supposed to work on everyone. Then on your next call in the next few days, invite her along somewhere if you want. A rule used by douchebag guys who think that waiting three days after a date to call means that the girl will want them more, when really it just pisses them off. I thought he was blowing me off, but he totally three day ruled me.

A rule established by the norms of society about the contact information received by people on the dating scene. Scenario: A man receives a phone number from a woman in public.

If he calls on day one, he will seem desperate.

If he calls on day twohe will appear as if his interest is too strong and still desperate. However, if he waits until day threehe appears genuinely interested, and not clingy or needy. Person 1: I got a girl's number today; should I call her tonight? Person 2: No, you should give it the three-day ruleman. The rule states that you should always wait three days before calling a girl.

The three day rule was invented by Jezus, because he waited three days to resurrect. Considered the fact that Barney Stinson stands behind this rule, makes the rule Awesome and legen HIMYM season 4 episode 21 three day rule.

House guests, like fishneed to be thrown out after three days. I couldn't let Bob sleep on my couch forever, so I had to enforce the three day rule.