Best dating app for 50 somethings - that
Single people in their 50s open up to the idea of using dating apps
"Nobody has ever asked us about this cohort before,” says Snehil Khanor, cofounder & CEO of dating app TrulyMadly, when approached with a query on users in their 50s and beyond on his app. His reaction is justifiable. By industry estimates, the 50-plus form less than 1% of the user base of any leading dating app catering to the Indian masses. To most people inside and outside that age bracket, the idea of a baby boomer dating is outlandish. So why bother, right? Nonetheless, Khanor obliges and comes back with some answers three days later.
“First of all, men in the 50+ cohort are getting more profile matches than some of the guys on our team of 20-somethings,” he says, sounding equally amazed & amused. He then rattles off a few case studies: A sexagenarian male user from Bengaluru has fetched 18 matches within three months of signing up on the app. A 50-year-old divorced man from Kolkata has a like rate of 25% as against the average of 10% (calculated on the basis number of likes per number of impressions on a user profile). A 57-year-old woman entrepreneur from Delhi has got 103 matches since July 14, 2019. The most fascinating of the lot, though, is a 62-year-old man from Aurangabad, who has bagged 34 matches in the last couple of months. “His like rate is 2% higher than mine. I am contemplating increasing my age on my profile,” quips Khanor, who is 29.
The cause of his envy is a retired government official — Gopal Kuril. Separated from his wife a few years ago, Kuril now lives alone in his Aurangabad bungalow while his two kids work in a metro city. “When I feel lonely, I open a dating app to chat with someone who has liked my profile,” he says. Sometimes he gets a match from a woman in her late 20s and wonders how to navigate that situation. “They’re like my daughter’s age. What will I talk to them about on a dating app?” If the user is in her 40s or is older, Kuril asks her about work and general whereabouts. He has neither met anyone in person through the app nor spoken to them on the phone. Just a few minutes of in-app chatting every once in a while. “It helps me while away time,” he says.
Like Kuril, a lot of single folk in the 50 and above age group are taking to dating apps to ward off their loneliness. “They are not necessarily looking for romance but mere social interaction,” says Alaokika Bharwani, a Mumbaibased psychotherapist. Around 80% of Bharwani’s clientele from the 50-plus age group admits to being active on one or more online dating apps, she says. They see these apps as a fun distraction.
Dating companies in several parts of the world are fast realising the potential in creating apps specifically for the 50-plus single men and women. Last year, Charly Lester, a UKbased journalist and an expert on the dating industry, launched Lumen, a dating app catering to those who are 50 and above. In her interviews to journalists, Lester, an entrepreneur in her 30s, has referred to people in their 50s and 60s as “the forgotten generation of dating”. “Dating apps are designed for millennials, making them a miserable experience for everyone else. There are very few over the 50s using the other apps — and often men over 50 are searching for women in their 30s or 40s. We are the only app designed specifically for the over-50 age group,” she told one publication. Within a year, Lumen has managed over a million downloads on Android and secured £3.5 million in seed funding.
Besides this, the dating giant Match Group — parent company of Tinder, Hinge, and OKCupid, among others — has at least three apps exclusively for those above 50. Each has several thousand users. One of them, DisonsDemain (French for let’s say tomorrow), has close to 100,000 users.
Three times as many Indians in the 50+ age group have listed themselves as “Single” on Facebook. Yet, a lot of users from this cohort treat their dating lives as a covert operation. Many of them shared their experiences with ET Magazine only on the condition of anonymity. The few who agreed for their names to be published were not willing to share their photographs.
In a country where online dating has less than 3% user penetration — and where most millennials are reluctant to tell their parents that they found their partners on Tinder — getting the older generation to talk about their dating lives is understandably a far-fetched idea. This is true also of countries like China and South Korea. In China, a grand total of 0.9% of all online dating users belong to the 50 and above cohort, according to a recent Statista Global Consumer Survey. In South Korea, the same survey points out, the percentage of online dating users above the age of 55 is literally zero.
That said, the perception around dating after 50 isn’t stopping people in India. TrulyMadly has 1.5 times more women per male users in this segment as against the 18-40-year-olds. At 6.13%, the 50-plus also has the highest percentage of paying users in an age group, Khanor adds. Match Group and dating app Bumble declined to comment. The taboo around dating after 50 does not worry Mumbai-based Neeta Kolhatkar, 52. “Do you stop growing as a human being after 50? Then why should age be a deterrent for dating or anything?” Single by choice, Kolhatkar, a freelance media professional, points out how the younger generation is helping eradicate the taboo around dating after 50. “I see children, at least in the metros, being forthcoming about wanting to see their single parents meet new people and move on in life.”
Dharti Desai, a 52-year-old single parent, gets that support from her daughter Anjali, 21. A marketing consultant who shuttles between New York and Mumbai, Desai maintains an unspoken code with her daughter about dating. “We don’t advise each other on dating, we don’t say ‘no’ either. We just tell each other we are there when we are needed.” It is a model that can work well in the US but what about back home in India? “My family loves that there is a 21-year-old talking about dating and that her mother is also talking about dating,” she quips.
Even Kuril, the retired government official in Aurangabad, gets the support of his children. They also warn him of fraudulent profiles.
“It is a grave issue within the gay community,” says a 55-year-old retired gay medical professional from a tier-2 town in Maharashtra who wishes to remain anonymous. “You hear stories of younger men pursuing older men to turn them into their sugar daddies. Most of the men above 50 are married and paranoid about being outed.” Many, thus, prefer taking the offline route to pursue a relationship.
Reservations against online dating aside, the conversations of the 50-plus aren’t very different from that of the younger lot, says Bharwani from Mumbai. Yet, dating in your 20s and 30s is very different from dating in your 50s, she adds. “Your desires are different when you have lived half of your life. You carry a lot more baggage. Women, in particular, struggle with the concept of sexuality at 50 as they are going through menopause. To be viewed as desirable at 50 is a mindset they have to really work on.” Bharwani suggests looking at dating apps as a tool to open oneself up, to connect to one’s desirable self.
Meanwhile, TrulyMadly’s Khanor is busy marvelling at the success of a handful of baby boomers on his dating app. “These guys have amazing profiles,” he goes. “One of the 50-year-olds has a physique that could give a lot of millennials a run for their money.” In the 24 hours since culling out this data on the 50 and above, Khanor has been telling everyone on his team just one thing: “Don’t lose heart if you aren’t getting any matches at present. There is hope for you 20 years from now.”
TO DATE OR NOT TO DATE?
What is encouraging:
— Availability of dating apps and Facebook groups
— Clarity of expectations from dating
— Progressive attitude of family & society
What is discouraging:
— Limited people in the dating pool
— Fear of being bodyshamed
— Marital expectations from a date in the same age-group
— Fear of being duped by younger people on dating apps
“First of all, men in the 50+ cohort are getting more profile matches than some of the guys on our team of 20-somethings,” he says, sounding equally amazed & amused. He then rattles off a few case studies: A sexagenarian male user from Bengaluru has fetched 18 matches within three months of signing up on the app. A 50-year-old divorced man from Kolkata has a like rate of 25% as against the average of 10% (calculated on the basis number of likes per number of impressions on a user profile). A 57-year-old woman entrepreneur from Delhi has got 103 matches since July 14, 2019. The most fascinating of the lot, though, is a 62-year-old man from Aurangabad, who has bagged 34 matches in the last couple of months. “His like rate is 2% higher than mine. I am contemplating increasing my age on my profile,” quips Khanor, who is 29.
The cause of his envy is a retired government official — Gopal Kuril. Separated from his wife a few years ago, Kuril now lives alone in his Aurangabad bungalow while his two kids work in a metro city. “When I feel lonely, I open a dating app to chat with someone who has liked my profile,” he says. Sometimes he gets a match from a woman in her late 20s and wonders how to navigate that situation. “They’re like my daughter’s age. What will I talk to them about on a dating app?” If the user is in her 40s or is older, Kuril asks her about work and general whereabouts. He has neither met anyone in person through the app nor spoken to them on the phone. Just a few minutes of in-app chatting every once in a while. “It helps me while away time,” he says.
Like Kuril, a lot of single folk in the 50 and above age group are taking to dating apps to ward off their loneliness. “They are not necessarily looking for romance but mere social interaction,” says Alaokika Bharwani, a Mumbaibased psychotherapist. Around 80% of Bharwani’s clientele from the 50-plus age group admits to being active on one or more online dating apps, she says. They see these apps as a fun distraction.
Dating companies in several parts of the world are fast realising the potential in creating apps specifically for the 50-plus single men and women. Last year, Charly Lester, a UKbased journalist and an expert on the dating industry, launched Lumen, a dating app catering to those who are 50 and above. In her interviews to journalists, Lester, an entrepreneur in her 30s, has referred to people in their 50s and 60s as “the forgotten generation of dating”. “Dating apps are designed for millennials, making them a miserable experience for everyone else. There are very few over the 50s using the other apps — and often men over 50 are searching for women in their 30s or 40s. We are the only app designed specifically for the over-50 age group,” she told one publication. Within a year, Lumen has managed over a million downloads on Android and secured £3.5 million in seed funding.
Besides this, the dating giant Match Group — parent company of Tinder, Hinge, and OKCupid, among others — has at least three apps exclusively for those above 50. Each has several thousand users. One of them, DisonsDemain (French for let’s say tomorrow), has close to 100,000 users.
Three times as many Indians in the 50+ age group have listed themselves as “Single” on Facebook. Yet, a lot of users from this cohort treat their dating lives as a covert operation. Many of them shared their experiences with ET Magazine only on the condition of anonymity. The few who agreed for their names to be published were not willing to share their photographs.
In a country where online dating has less than 3% user penetration — and where most millennials are reluctant to tell their parents that they found their partners on Tinder — getting the older generation to talk about their dating lives is understandably a far-fetched idea. This is true also of countries like China and South Korea. In China, a grand total of 0.9% of all online dating users belong to the 50 and above cohort, according to a recent Statista Global Consumer Survey. In South Korea, the same survey points out, the percentage of online dating users above the age of 55 is literally zero.
Three times as many Indians in the 50+ age group have listed themselves as “Single” on Facebook. (Representative image)
That said, the perception around dating after 50 isn’t stopping people in India. TrulyMadly has 1.5 times more women per male users in this segment as against the 18-40-year-olds. At 6.13%, the 50-plus also has the highest percentage of paying users in an age group, Khanor adds. Match Group and dating app Bumble declined to comment. The taboo around dating after 50 does not worry Mumbai-based Neeta Kolhatkar, 52. “Do you stop growing as a human being after 50? Then why should age be a deterrent for dating or anything?” Single by choice, Kolhatkar, a freelance media professional, points out how the younger generation is helping eradicate the taboo around dating after 50. “I see children, at least in the metros, being forthcoming about wanting to see their single parents meet new people and move on in life.”
Dharti Desai, a 52-year-old single parent, gets that support from her daughter Anjali, 21. A marketing consultant who shuttles between New York and Mumbai, Desai maintains an unspoken code with her daughter about dating. “We don’t advise each other on dating, we don’t say ‘no’ either. We just tell each other we are there when we are needed.” It is a model that can work well in the US but what about back home in India? “My family loves that there is a 21-year-old talking about dating and that her mother is also talking about dating,” she quips.
Even Kuril, the retired government official in Aurangabad, gets the support of his children. They also warn him of fraudulent profiles.
“It is a grave issue within the gay community,” says a 55-year-old retired gay medical professional from a tier-2 town in Maharashtra who wishes to remain anonymous. “You hear stories of younger men pursuing older men to turn them into their sugar daddies. Most of the men above 50 are married and paranoid about being outed.” Many, thus, prefer taking the offline route to pursue a relationship.
Reservations against online dating aside, the conversations of the 50-plus aren’t very different from that of the younger lot, says Bharwani from Mumbai. Yet, dating in your 20s and 30s is very different from dating in your 50s, she adds. “Your desires are different when you have lived half of your life. You carry a lot more baggage. Women, in particular, struggle with the concept of sexuality at 50 as they are going through menopause. To be viewed as desirable at 50 is a mindset they have to really work on.” Bharwani suggests looking at dating apps as a tool to open oneself up, to connect to one’s desirable self.
Meanwhile, TrulyMadly’s Khanor is busy marvelling at the success of a handful of baby boomers on his dating app. “These guys have amazing profiles,” he goes. “One of the 50-year-olds has a physique that could give a lot of millennials a run for their money.” In the 24 hours since culling out this data on the 50 and above, Khanor has been telling everyone on his team just one thing: “Don’t lose heart if you aren’t getting any matches at present. There is hope for you 20 years from now.”
TO DATE OR NOT TO DATE?
What is encouraging:
— Availability of dating apps and Facebook groups
— Clarity of expectations from dating
— Progressive attitude of family & society
What is discouraging:
— Limited people in the dating pool
— Fear of being bodyshamed
— Marital expectations from a date in the same age-group
— Fear of being duped by younger people on dating apps
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2 Comments on this Story
 | Vasanth Kumar211 days ago Check https://fallov.com/, a free dating app for Indians and by Indians. |
| There is no baby boomer in India...first learn and then write...moron |
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