Really: Best dating apps for.nerds
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7 of the best online dating sites for geeks, nerds, and lovers of science fiction
We've lined up a selection of the best dating sites for all the geeks out there, including top services like Match and eharmony.
By Team Commerce
Mashable's readers (and writers) are known for being obsessive about the things we love. You may say we kind of geek out about things. Okay, fine, we are geeks. We're not bothered by this, because geeks are awesome.
But sometimes, awesome geeks can use a bit of assistance in the dating department. Not because there aren't enough geeks out there, but because dating as a geek is tough. For women, it can involve a lot of creepy guys who want their manic pixie dream girl. For men, it can involve a lot of simply trying to not be that guy. If you're in the majority of geeks who are a little bit introverted, dating can be really intimidating.
SEE ALSO: Find your perfect player two: These are the best dating sites for gamers in the UK
News flash: Loving sci-fi and being *in love* are not mutually exclusive.
We compared the internet's top dating sites, trendy swiping apps, and geek-specific sites to find the ones where geeks can express themselves and find that special someone. Hidden in the millions of users, you could find that person who hated the Game of Thrones ending as much as you, or someone who dreams of the perfect couples cosplay. Maybe you're a geek in the streets and a freak in the sheets — there are plenty of apps where geeks can just find a hookup, too.
What are the best dating sites for geeks?
In terms of general dating sites, we really like Match, which has a tried-and-true algorithm and huge user base. Geek-specific dating sites that aren't totally outdated and crappy are few and far between, but we were impressed by Gamer Dating.
We've checked out everything on offer and lined up a handpicked selection of the best dating options for geeks, including leading services like Match, eharmony, and AdultFriendFinder.
These are the best online dating sites for geeks, nerds, and lovers of science fiction in 2020.
You can be picky • Can easily find someone who shares your obsessions • Fake profiles are highly unlikely • Less conservative than eharmony
Long questionnaire is tedious • So many notifications • Expensive
Match is perfect for people who know exactly what they're looking for in their next partner.
Match
If you're serious about finding a soulmate and have the disposable income, Match is the place to go.- Basic Membership: Free
- One month: £22.30 a month
- Three months: £19.80 a month
- Six months: £17.32 a month
- One year: £16.49 a month
Who's online:Match is kind of like baby's first big dating site. The OG player has the most users of any dating site (yep, more than eharmony), totalling about 35 million users in 25 countries. 32% of Match members are millennials, 39% are Gen Xers, and 27% are Boomers.
How it works: Just what you'd expect: Complete an extensive questionnaire about your personality, what values matter to you, and what you're looking for in a partner. This section will allow you to be really choosy, which is nice if you tend to be pretty picky. If not, general settings work too.
Afterwards, Match has a 24-hour waiting period for verification before you can start using the service. This is so the dating site isn’t bombarded with fake profiles. But once you’re in you can message, favourite, wink, and talk with other users until you match and start going on dates in the real world. Since membership prices are steep compared to swiping apps, you can pretty much assume that most users are taking it seriously.
Why it's great for geeks: Match offers some of the most sophisticated features, search tools, profile matching, and relationship help of all the ones on this list. If you're looking for someone who's obsessive about basically anything, just type it into the search bar and see who pops up. The page will automatically populate results using the search parameters you identified in your profile settings.
How it works: Just what you'd expect: Complete an extensive questionnaire about your personality, what values matter to you, and what you're looking for in a partner. This section will allow you to be really choosy, which is nice if you tend to be pretty picky. If not, general settings work too.
Afterwards, Match has a 24-hour waiting period for verification before you can start using the service. This is so the dating site isn’t bombarded with fake profiles. But once you’re in you can message, favourite, wink, and talk with other users until you match and start going on dates in the real world. Since membership prices are steep compared to swiping apps, you can pretty much assume that most users are taking it seriously.
Why it's great for geeks: Match offers some of the most sophisticated features, search tools, profile matching, and relationship help of all the ones on this list. If you're looking for someone who's obsessive about basically anything, just type it into the search bar and see who pops up. The page will automatically populate results using the search parameters you identified in your profile settings.
50/50 split between male and female users • Extremely gender inclusive • List favourite games/genres right off the bat
Some users are using it to make friends • No smartphone app • Overall outdated model
Skip the normie sites and connect with others who consider gaming a lifestyle.
Gamer Dating
Find your Player 2 on Gamer Dating, the charming (albeit outdated) site where gamers can totally be themselves.- Basic membership: Free
- Silver Quest (two months): £14.44 a month
- Gold Quest (four months): £14.44 a month
Who's online: At just over 20,000 monthly visitors, it's probably not the site where you'll have new inbox notifications every time you log in. But hear us out — that small number of people is a group of really passionate gamers, and you can skip having to put "gamer" in your bio all together. There is nearly a 50/50 split between male and female users (and you know how hard it is to find a geek site with girls).
How it works: The sign-up process is pretty rigorous for a site so niche, but it's likely one of the ways Gamer Dating has managed to weed out almost all of the fake profiles. Aside from the expected profile picture and physical attributes, you'll be asked to list your favourite games right out of the gate. The wide variety of choices include DOTA 2, PUBG, Zelda, and Uncharted, and you have to choose at least three (that's how they confirm that you're a real gamer, I guess). Other fields include social hobbies like smoking habits and if you like to party.
Standard members only get six matches per day, but upgrading to a Silver or Gold Quest to get more matches and customisation. All memberships come with access to the Gaming Centre, where you can read news and blog posts about dating as a gamer.
Why it's great for geeks: Stating the obvious, it's really nice to have a dating site geared specifically toward people who think of gaming as a lifestyle instead of the casual Mario Kart at a party. Instead of having to put that you're a gamer or comb through profiles on traditional apps for a mention of gaming, Gamer Dating skips the normie stuff and essentially acts as a virtual Comic-Con. Automatically being able to see their favourite genres and specific games is an immediate talking point, too. Just make sure they didn't buy that girl's bath water first.
Gamer Dating also offers 17 gender options, which outdoes nearly every traditional dating site except for maybe OkCupid. It's truly a place for singles to be themselves, and we stan Gamer Dating for this reason alone.
How it works: The sign-up process is pretty rigorous for a site so niche, but it's likely one of the ways Gamer Dating has managed to weed out almost all of the fake profiles. Aside from the expected profile picture and physical attributes, you'll be asked to list your favourite games right out of the gate. The wide variety of choices include DOTA 2, PUBG, Zelda, and Uncharted, and you have to choose at least three (that's how they confirm that you're a real gamer, I guess). Other fields include social hobbies like smoking habits and if you like to party.
Standard members only get six matches per day, but upgrading to a Silver or Gold Quest to get more matches and customisation. All memberships come with access to the Gaming Centre, where you can read news and blog posts about dating as a gamer.
Why it's great for geeks: Stating the obvious, it's really nice to have a dating site geared specifically toward people who think of gaming as a lifestyle instead of the casual Mario Kart at a party. Instead of having to put that you're a gamer or comb through profiles on traditional apps for a mention of gaming, Gamer Dating skips the normie stuff and essentially acts as a virtual Comic-Con. Automatically being able to see their favourite genres and specific games is an immediate talking point, too. Just make sure they didn't buy that girl's bath water first.
Gamer Dating also offers 17 gender options, which outdoes nearly every traditional dating site except for maybe OkCupid. It's truly a place for singles to be themselves, and we stan Gamer Dating for this reason alone.
Specifically for older daters • Detailed questionnaire • Hide or block members
You can only see five matches per day
A safe, friendly way to jump back into dating.
SilverSingles
SilverSingles has an extensive questionnaire at signup that ensures you find matches who are truly compatible.- Basic membership: Free
- Three months: £47.45/month
- Six months: £36.81/month
- One year: £26.16/month
Who's online:SilverSingles is here to help those over the age of 60, and remind you that you're not alone. Putting yourself back out there doesn't have to be scary.
How it works: SilverSingles wants to ensure that your next relationship lasts, so the sign-up process and questionnaires will take some time. SilverSingles will only send you five matches a day, and you can't search through a pool of people — but this will force you to seriously consider if you can see yourself with these people.
How it helps introverts: If you were worried about online dating because of the possible creeps out there, don't worry: You can hide or block any member you want from seeing your profile
How it works: SilverSingles wants to ensure that your next relationship lasts, so the sign-up process and questionnaires will take some time. SilverSingles will only send you five matches a day, and you can't search through a pool of people — but this will force you to seriously consider if you can see yourself with these people.
How it helps introverts: If you were worried about online dating because of the possible creeps out there, don't worry: You can hide or block any member you want from seeing your profile
A handful of very personalised matches each day • Verification and privacy are taken very seriously
Questionnaire takes forever • No search feature • Expensive
Elite Singles are for people who are looking to settle down without feeling like they're settling.
Elite Singles
Career-focused individuals take an advanced personality test that really analyses who will complement you.- One month: £74.21 a month
- Three months: £41.21 a month
- Six months: £32.96 a month
- One year: £20.58 a month
Who's online: University degree holders looking for someone who's also educated and career-oriented. According to its site, Elite Singles helps an average of 2,000 couples find love each month, with the company claiming that a single finds love using the service every eight minutes. That sounds good to us. A majority of its members are said to be educated, relatively affluent, and between the ages of 30 and 55.
How it works: The site's personality test is ground zero of the matchmaking process. Based on the “Five Factor Model” of personality traits, you'll use a questionnaire to tell what makes you unique. Elite Singles compares your results with those of other members to identify users who complement your personality.
Why it's great for geeks: If your geekiness extends all the way to a full-time career, Elite Singles is where you could find someone in a similar field, or simply someone who understands the 9-5 or going to school for what seems like a million years.
The site suggests 3 to 7 highly suitable matches for you every day, so it's basically like having your own personal fairy godmother matchmaker — and extra handy if you're not really sure what your type is.The company bases its suggestions on a matching process that takes into account your relationship preferences, education, location, and personality profile. For the geeks out there who are more straightforward in their approach to love and who are looking to settle down without settling, this could be the service for you.
How it works: The site's personality test is ground zero of the matchmaking process. Based on the “Five Factor Model” of personality traits, you'll use a questionnaire to tell what makes you unique. Elite Singles compares your results with those of other members to identify users who complement your personality.
Why it's great for geeks: If your geekiness extends all the way to a full-time career, Elite Singles is where you could find someone in a similar field, or simply someone who understands the 9-5 or going to school for what seems like a million years.
The site suggests 3 to 7 highly suitable matches for you every day, so it's basically like having your own personal fairy godmother matchmaker — and extra handy if you're not really sure what your type is.The company bases its suggestions on a matching process that takes into account your relationship preferences, education, location, and personality profile. For the geeks out there who are more straightforward in their approach to love and who are looking to settle down without settling, this could be the service for you.
Loads of users and success stories • Offers pre-written questions for you to send to your matches • Uses an algorithm to measure compatibility
Somewhat conservative
eharmony is ideal for singles who are finally ready to settle down, but finding your perfect match doesn't come cheap.
eharmony
If you love gaming but hate playing games, eharmony could find you someone serious.- Basic Membership: Free
- Three months : £47.81 a month
- One year: £22.23 a month
Who's online:eharmony has more than 20 million members and claims responsibility for some 600,000 marriages. Most users understand that the site is specifically for finding someone to settle down with, so you can be confident that you won't get played.
How it works: The service uses your personality profile to pair you with potential matches (after a deathly long series of questions and rated responses, including some heavily religious ones). Then, Guided Communication helps you get to know someone on the site at your own pace. If it's natural for you to take control of the conversation, you can go with Quick Questions or skip this step entirely and send a custom direct message. However, sending pre-written Quick Questions can be a pretty easy ice breaker.
Why it's great for geeks: If you're into science, you'll be happy to know that eharmony uses a scientific approach to matching highly compatible people. eharmony has figured out that by asking you a bunch of questions up front, they can then match you with people whose answers are compatible with yours. Their matching algorithm uses what the website calls a 29 Dimensions Model, which seeks to measure compatibility along with things like emotional energy, kindness, character, intellect, humour, spirituality, and more.
How it works: The service uses your personality profile to pair you with potential matches (after a deathly long series of questions and rated responses, including some heavily religious ones). Then, Guided Communication helps you get to know someone on the site at your own pace. If it's natural for you to take control of the conversation, you can go with Quick Questions or skip this step entirely and send a custom direct message. However, sending pre-written Quick Questions can be a pretty easy ice breaker.
Why it's great for geeks: If you're into science, you'll be happy to know that eharmony uses a scientific approach to matching highly compatible people. eharmony has figured out that by asking you a bunch of questions up front, they can then match you with people whose answers are compatible with yours. Their matching algorithm uses what the website calls a 29 Dimensions Model, which seeks to measure compatibility along with things like emotional energy, kindness, character, intellect, humour, spirituality, and more.
Find hookups or make friends in the community • Can be very specific about kinks and fetishes
Messy and hard to navigate • High potential for fake profiles
Despite a lack of organisation, ALT lets you indulge in your wildest fetishes with people who are on the same page.
ALT
Geek in the streets but freak in the streets? Bond over bondage on this BDSM site.- One month: £20.95 a month
- Three months: £12.95 a month
- One year: £8.95 a month
Who's online: Over 600,000 users who are into way more than vanilla stuff and who are bored of the regular hookup sites.
How it works: A self-proclaimed "BDSM, fetish, and kink site," ALT.com is one of the rare sites that's dedicated to bondage, erotic role play, and a whole lot of leather. Geeks are technically people who obsess over something very specific or give great attention to something in technical detail — no one said that couldn't be bedroom stuff.
Quick sign-up questions about gender, sexual orientation, and whether you're dominant or submissive come first, but the actual questionnaire is pretty lengthy for a site that's only fostering quick connections. However, those with very specific predilections will appreciate this attention to detail.
Why it's great for geeks: It gives you the chance to find a quick hookup or just meet new people who are into the same stuff you are — without having to worry that you'll be judged. With the ability to interact in private chat networks or create your own blog (aside from the expected live video broadcasts and fetish videos), you're guaranteed to at least come away with some advice or a list of new handcuffs to try.
It's true that most people care more about the hookups they get out of a site than the site's aesthetic itself — but it turns into a problem when the site's design is so messy that it becomes difficult to navigate. ALT is a landfill of profiles, blogs, videos, and the occasional animated porn ad. It really has an impressive wealth of content, but a lack of user-friendliness could be a turnoff for some.
How it works: A self-proclaimed "BDSM, fetish, and kink site," ALT.com is one of the rare sites that's dedicated to bondage, erotic role play, and a whole lot of leather. Geeks are technically people who obsess over something very specific or give great attention to something in technical detail — no one said that couldn't be bedroom stuff.
Quick sign-up questions about gender, sexual orientation, and whether you're dominant or submissive come first, but the actual questionnaire is pretty lengthy for a site that's only fostering quick connections. However, those with very specific predilections will appreciate this attention to detail.
Why it's great for geeks: It gives you the chance to find a quick hookup or just meet new people who are into the same stuff you are — without having to worry that you'll be judged. With the ability to interact in private chat networks or create your own blog (aside from the expected live video broadcasts and fetish videos), you're guaranteed to at least come away with some advice or a list of new handcuffs to try.
It's true that most people care more about the hookups they get out of a site than the site's aesthetic itself — but it turns into a problem when the site's design is so messy that it becomes difficult to navigate. ALT is a landfill of profiles, blogs, videos, and the occasional animated porn ad. It really has an impressive wealth of content, but a lack of user-friendliness could be a turnoff for some.
Massive user base • LGBTQ friendly • Lots of features for max satisfaction • Chemistry questionnaires are actually decent
Entire site looks like a virus-ridden porn add • Best features get pricey
Live vides and more monthly visitors than eharmony make AFF great for finding an immediate booty call.
AdultFriendFinder
If you can get past the fact that it looks like an ad for a deserted strip club, you'll get some serious satisfaction and a confidence boost.- Basic Membership: Free
- One month: £24.75 a month
- Three months: £16.50 a month
- One year: £12.38 a month
Who's online: A lot of horny people — a lot as in a bigger user base than eharmony. With over 25 million monthly users (that's more than eharmony) as well as live video options, chat rooms, groups for ultra specific kinks, and more, you can probably assume how wild this site can get. But there's such a large and diverse group of potential matches, you're very likely to find someone who's on the same page as you. The part that you wouldn't expect is the fact that they do offer lots of compatibility questions and matchmaking services, because they're that intent on finding you a good lay.
How it works:AdultFriendFinder is probably the best hookup site, and that's because it's literally impossible to walk away unsatisfied. Regardless of whether you're looking for an in-person hookup or to blow off some steam via sexting or raunchy videos, AFF has everything that your dirty mind can think of and more.
Why it's great for geeks: Getting laid can be a struggle for geeks, even if it's only due to lack of confidence or fear of rejection. There are so many users into so many different things on AFF, it's not likely that you won't find someone who wants to meet up. This isn't the snooty dating site where someone wants you to wine and dine first, and you'll feel like a total hottie when the likes and messages pour in almost instantly.
How it works:AdultFriendFinder is probably the best hookup site, and that's because it's literally impossible to walk away unsatisfied. Regardless of whether you're looking for an in-person hookup or to blow off some steam via sexting or raunchy videos, AFF has everything that your dirty mind can think of and more.
Why it's great for geeks: Getting laid can be a struggle for geeks, even if it's only due to lack of confidence or fear of rejection. There are so many users into so many different things on AFF, it's not likely that you won't find someone who wants to meet up. This isn't the snooty dating site where someone wants you to wine and dine first, and you'll feel like a total hottie when the likes and messages pour in almost instantly.
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