Who pays the check in lesbian dating

Deciding who pays on a lesbian date is usually something most queer women think twice about.

On a hetero date, it is almost always the man who pays for the woman, but lady-loving ladies tend to have a hard time figuring out who is going to or should pay for the date. The most common preference seems to be that the one who asks the other out on the date is the one who pays.

If you're a feminine lesbian like myself, you know that other feminine lesbians tend to not initiate much of anything, including dates. So, if that were the case I, and probably you, would always be paying for the date. But that's a story for another time...

It's probably a fair take to pay for the date if you initiate it. However, I always offer to pay and hope that the woman I'm on a date with will also offer to at least split the bill. I don't go down to the nitty-gritty of you got this drink and that meal so you pay for that and I'll pay for mine - I just split it in half. It doesn't need to be a science.

I also tend to feel guilty if someone else pays for me. So, if they tell me they're going to pay, I always offer anyway and give them a little bit of a struggle until they either let me split the check or insist that they're going to pay. The problem here, at least from my experience and my friends' experiences is that feminine women don't normally offer to pay and if you offer, then they let you pay without a fight or even the slightest offer to help.

I think what it comes down to is not stressing about the money and always assume you'll pay.

My strategy for first dates is to go somewhere cheaper like a coffee shop or bar so you're not having a full dinner with your date that you have to pay for - especially if it turns out that you're not into them or they're not into you. The second date is where I invite them to have dinner and go do an activity like mini-golf.

If you're a more masculine "butch" leaning lesbian, then you may want to and normally do pay for dates and that's also ok. It comes down to the person, but if you're in the not-so-sure category, then the easiest method is to go with who initiated the date or just offer to pay no matter what.

It really comes down to you as a person. There is no hard-set rule on who pays on a lesbian date. So, think a little less, have fun, and stress less about paying!