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10 Tips to Date a Latina — from a Latina
You always know because if they have, they’ll mention it in their own way. Men remember Latina women for either the good or bad…but they remember her.
So whether you date a Shakira Shakira or Sonia Sotomayor, chances are one… or some… of these stereotypes have been fulfilled in your relationship.
EDIT: Since this post has received so much commentary, I’d like to remind you that I am Latina, I speak sarcasm, and I’m on Instagram (shameless self-promotion). Also, if you don’t want to meet people on a dating app, but instead would like to meet people to date in real-life at really cool places and events, you should check out my app BUENA.
May the sassiness continue: things that happen when you date a Latina – Latina stereotypes revealed:
1. You’re never going to be hungry.
Seriously, she herself could be anorexic or Licuado de Nopal fit, but she’ll be damned if you’re ever hungry.
Eating is often an entire experience. Cooking is a gift from us to you, so don’t you dare turn down that meal from abuelita.
2. She is inevitably hyper-sexualized.
If you’re the jealous type and want to date a Latina woman, you better grow some confidence and develop trust in each other.
You can’t control how much she will be checked out, hit on, and praised with unsolicited attention.
Mostly because if you’re around Latin culture, Latin men actively show their affection. And if you’re outside of a Latino community, she will be fetishized for being exotic.
Latina women just want to be appreciated for anything other than how much you want to sleep with them. Studies at Columbia University show that Latinos are mostly casted for hyper-sexualized television roles because well… that’s how society sees us.
Don’t get me wrong, we fully perpetuate the stereotype for three reasons:
Firstly, the older generations of Latina women had little agency, so they truly had to hurry up and get married. Their beauty was the only thing going for them, so they embraced it. Certain cultural habits of loving your body are then tripled down throughout the generations.
Secondly, the younger Latinas who do have more agency and are equal human beings in society have been socially raised to be put together. I literally was wearing high heels before I could walk (Mary Janes, thank you). What’s our norm may not be yours, but we choose to express ourselves through fashion, dance, and mediums which may be seen by others as “sexy.”
My mother’s friend, a pastor, told me yesterday that a feminist condemned her for wearing high heels and dresses for “her man” (obviously, we aren’t talkin’ about a freakum-dress here, she’s modest and still fierce).
Yami answered with a “I don’t dress for men’s attention, I dress for myself.”
Third, we can’t help who we are. We’re sexy and we love it.
We just don’t want you to think that it’s the only thing we have to offer.
3. On that note, people will assume she’s not educated or skilled.
According to the National Center for Public Policy and Higher Education, Latinas have less educational and vocational opportunities than any other racial group in the USA.
This means that when people look at your sexy Latin lover and think she’s only good for “that,” it isn’t just because of Modern Family and Desperate Housewives. There are real-life obstacles for Latina women to develop their careers and ambitions.
Cultural limitations include getting married too young, having children out of wedlock, and having parents that don’t want them to leave their hometown. There are so many other socio-economic obstacles that must be over-come by Latina women.
To be clear, in 2015, plenty of Latina-Americans are empowered with opportunities and success.
But take it from the girl who went to UCLA and would always be told “yeah, but you don’t count as Mexican” [because of my financial status and education], that people perceive Latinos to be professionally challenged.
Celebrating success might be particularly important to her if she has beat the odds. As her partner, she might need you to show her that you don’t take her hard work and talent for granted.
You can bet she’ll do the same for you.
4. She’s likely to be coqueta and incredibly passionate.
Whatever her hobbies are, whatever her career is, and her love for you will burn fiercely. Don’t take it personally, she loves everyone that hard. Well, she’s pretty picky with who she actually loves, but once you’re “in,” you’re “in.”
To be “coqueta” means that she is likely playful, kind, and like-able. There is the tiniest sense of cockiness implied with this behavior, but it is undoubtedly confidence, not thinking she is better than anyone else.
Latina women are notoriously social creatures. I say creatures because it’s almost an animalistic instinct to share the charm. You walk into a Latino family party and you’re sure to get a dozen hugs and kisses on the cheek. We love to love our friends.
Don’t mistake her friendliness for flintiness.
Culturally, we are less likely to be casually promiscuous, so the chances of cheating are statistically lower. Okay, not an actual statistic. However, in Latina culture women are less likely to be intimate outside of a relationship.
5. She wants to show you off.
I’m an exception to this as I’ve become a bit more private with my already very public lifestyle. However, most Latina women want pictures with their bae, their best friend, their cousins, and their dog.
Correlated to how hard we love and to our confidence, Latina women like to show the world how wonderful you are. This is very different to say, Scandinavian or Australian culture, where it would seem too showy. In Latino culture, it’s just celebrating. We’re always looking for an excuse to have a party so we can feed you.
Thanks mom. That’s you.
6. She will fight and suffer with you.
Remember that loving hard part? They hurt hard too. Studies show that Latina women actually get physically ill when they are emotionally concerned for a love one. I can’t seem to find the cases for it, but I learned this in a course at UCLA and I never forgot it because I was wide-eyed with this epiphany. It’s true and I hadn’t thought about it until my professor said it.
It actually becomes common practice for Latina women to come together seeking group love and support. It’s also a tendency not to tell the older women in the family a problem to avoid scaring them into bad health.
7. She knows how to listen, but she knows when to speak up.
Chances are that arm candy actually has a lot to say.
Being honest, bold, and candid are characteristics of Latina women. Click To TweetAt a glance, Latina women appear submissive. Culturally, many of us in heterosexual relationships haven’t let go of traditional practices. The opening of doors, letting women go first, and men walking on the outside of the sidewalk are all old-school practices in courtship. I like them.
Latina women need to feel needed, so they subconsciously let a man feel needed.
From an outsider’s perspective, this might look backwards, but there is one reason this isn’t so:
Latina women speak up. They want to communicate (in case you couldn’t tell with all my writing and expressing myself through fashion and dance HAHA). Anyways, this need empowers our relationships. We address the things that really matter. Those who talk together, work together, and make decisions together have a partnership … which is the real peak in #relationshipgoals.
8. She has to learn balance and discipline.
Passionate people tend to be full-force. Latinos are very passionate… particularly the women. This can lead to a culture of paradox extremes– a Latina women is either ridiculously fit, or struggling with obesity. She’s either top of her class in her career, or a stay at home mom focusing only on her family. She’s either only shows up to the Catholic parties or refuses to drink or dance in the name of Christ.
When you're that passionate about everything, it'll make you or break you.Click To TweetTravel has allowed me to understand my culture and my own identity.
By experiencing the world and removing myself from my norms, I am able to distinguish what I do and don’t like about my culture and why I act or feel a certain way about ideas, actions, and life.
Travel isn’t the only way to achieve this.
However, with any race, if you can wrap an understanding around how we are all different and can choose to reshape ourselves despite our norms, you’re going to be more mature and rounded than someone who doesn’t have this privilege.
We can choose which parts of our culture to embrace and which to reject.
Good thing that Latinas are great learners :) And great cooks, let’s keep that part up for sure!
9. She’s used to being taken care of, and she’s used to taking care of people.
It all runs back to the passion and hard-loving. We enjoy catering to our family, friends, and partner.
But we also love to be taken care of. If you take care of your Latina woman, she’s going to make sure that no one can take care of you like she does. She will love you immensely, passionately, and actively.
10. People will get a kick out of guessing her ethnicity.
I’m not kidding. I’ve had entire rooms of people guessing my racial roots as a game multiple times.
There might just be some novelty in culture.
Original Photo of me @StephBeTravel by @Witness_X on Instagram
More Reads on Culture:
Why I Waited to Discuss a Part of My Identity Online
50 Quirks of Inter-Cultural Dating
My Favorite Destinations in Mexico
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10 Brilliant Photos of Cozumel Beach: Cancun’s Caribbean Cousin
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