App to rate profile dating pics

My friend Harry has a problem. He’s good looking, charming, has a respectable job in the city. But he can’t get a date. And it’s not through lack of trying. He’s on Happn and Tinder, and is even considering giving Hinge a go (yes, there’s another new dating app for you to be on, keep up).

Harry’s problem, I realised the other day, is that his profile pictures don’t show him in his best light. At all. In the first one, he admittedly looks quite good looking (if a little on the young side – it was taken five years ago). Enough for someone to swipe right, initially, but after that there’s three group shots, a picture of him when he was a baby, a picture of him wearing sunglasses and a helmet, and a picture of him on a beach, with neon face paint on.

Sound familiar? Shame on you.

Most girls, if you asked them, would agree that these kind of badly chosen pictures are a major flaw in men’s dating profiles. So if you want a higher success rate, gents, it’s time to give yours an edit.

THE PICTURES YOU SHOULD NEVER HAVE IN YOUR DATING PROFILE:

You at a full moon party…

So you’re really well travelled? Good for you. Please, do talk about it on our first date (a bit) but for goodness sake don’t put up your drunkest picture of you from Koh Phangnan wearing neon make up and dribbling. It’s simply not becoming of a gentleman.

You and lots of other people…

How is a potential right-swiper supposed to know which one is you?

You and no other people…

Have you got any friends?

You and lots of girls…

There’s a fine line between yay and nay here. If it’s all the same girl, we’re probably going to think it’s one of your best friends/an ex who hangs around too much – next. But if you get the balance right, we’ll think ok, that probably means he knows how to be nice to girls.

Your selfies…

No.

Your celebrity selfies…

Definitely no. Especially if it’s a selfie of you and someone from the cast of Made in Chelsea.

Your gym selfies…

Should be a capital offence. It’s great that you care about looking after yourself, but I’m yet to meet a girl who’s actually turned on by a protein-guzzling monster who spends half his life in the gym and the other half uploading gym selfies.

You and blood sports…

Tread carefully. What happens if your future beau is London born and bred and not at one with the country ways, or worse still, vegetarian? She’ll be instantly put off by a snap of you with a shotgun over one arm and a brace of pheasants over the other.

THE PICTURES YOU SHOULD HAVE IN YOUR DATING PROFILE:

You travelling…

A sense of adventure is an extremely attractive quality. But just make sure you don’t have eight pictures of you at various world heritage sites around the world with only yourself in them that you obviously got your tour guide to take. Or, heaven forbid, you took with a selfie stick.

You at your friend’s wedding…

This should be a strong look. No doubt you’ll be wearing a dashing suit and looking even more charming than usual.

You playing in your band…

I don’t mean to speak for the entire female population, but… every girl in the world loves a man in a band. Make it your profile picture for life. Extra points if it’s black and white and you’re playing to a real life audience.

You doing sports…

Excellent. And much better than aforementioned gym selfies. Tennis, football, rugby, cricket, polo…go go go.

You doing extreme sports…

The creme de la creme of dating profile pictures. Adventure, danger… Just make sure your face isn’t hidden by sunglasses and a helmet. We’ll imagine the worse…