The best dating apps for lesbians who haven't found love on TikTok yet
Nearly every dating app is *technically* open to lesbians, but they don't always follow through with an atmosphere that's actually appealing to lesbians. Whether you want lots of local options or just want to be *pretty sure* that men won't slither into your feed, here are the apps we think will be the most successful safe spaces.
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By Leah Stodart
Online dating as a lesbian, for the most part, still involves having to deal with straight people.
The heteronormative weirdness got so alienating that as a means of meeting other single lesbians — turns out, it's a damn good matchmaker.
But it's unrealistic to expect a social media app to work like a dating app for everyone. (It's hard for some of us to comprehend, but not everyone spends every free minute on TikTok.) Lesbians who have exhausted their local romantic options are still going to want to see who else is out there.
Up until recently, some of the nation has acted as though lesbians didn't exist outside of porn and Ellen DeGeneres, and acted as if girls only turn to dating women if they had a bad experience with a man. When it comes to mainstream dating apps that are open to everyone, these tone-deaf assumptions still find a way to rain on the lesbian online dating experience. If it's not a man being slipped into your feed when you specifically marked that you're searching for women, it's matching with a woman just to be hit with the "My boyfriend and I are looking for a threesome."
Lesbian tinder includes
1. Girls who are just wanting friends
2. Ppl you went to high school w who want a threesome
3. Men who somehow got in— reyn/ BLM (@geneparmesano69) September 18, 2019
There's just one problem: The apps where the straights are the target are still where most of the queer users are, too. Though women-only apps like HER are gaining traction fast, they can still be a bit of a ghost town (or a scammer's paradise). You just have to decide whether you can deal with the quirks of Tinder and have more options to swipe through, or if you're fine with coming across the same profile three times as long as it's not a man.
(A decent number of dating sites and apps specifically for lesbians do exist, but most face the same issues: They're either made to sexualize lesbians and aren't really for genuine connection at all, or it's way too easy for guys to sign up and pretend to be women. Creeps are drawn to porn-y names like Pink Flirt, so if you're wondering why we left most of the so-called female only apps out, that's why.)
Here are the best dating apps for lesbians in 2020:
Dedicated spot for pronouns in bio • Opportunity for local LGBTQ+ community involvement • Niche corners like "newly out" and "travelers" • Users encouraged to advertise the type of relationship they're looking for
Lots of users complaining about being single • Biphobia reported • Same profiles recycled in feed
A refreshing twist on heteronormative apps that was made by queer women, for queer women.
HER
HER is the award-winning mix of dating and social media that lets you meet girls you know are girls.- Price: Free
- One month of Premium: 14.99
- Six months of Premium: $11.99/month
- One year of Premium: $7.49/month
Apps like and are technically for all orientations, but they'll be damned if they don't sneak some male profiles into your feed even if you've specified the opposite. Given the existence of Grindr and Scruff, the need for an online dating arena specifically for queer women was clear — thus, HER. Founders of the award-winning app are committed to cultivating a space that’s “so ragingly queer" that frustrated women can delete apps that don't feel like home.
As the user base of over four million grows, HER could widen your dating pool beyond the queer women you already know. In 2019, HER revamped its profiles to let users get more creative in categories like gender, sexuality, pronouns, diet preferences (like veganism), and star signs, as well as a "What does this mean?" field in the sex, gender, and pronoun categories to supply a more well-rounded understanding of identity. The traditional text bio is where you can flex your sense of humor or describe what kind of relationship you're seeking. Joining niche groups like "newly out" or "travelers" can also connect you with people using the app for similar reasons.
Aside from coupling up, a lot of HER regulars are looking to make friends or scope out the queer community in a new town. Switching over to the community feed opens the door to virtual hangouts with self-curated groups for queer women of color or interests like the new lesbian films that mainstream Twitter will probably ignore. You might even get a head's up about a local LGBTQ+ event, or gauge interest in an event you're planning yourself.
As the user base of over four million grows, HER could widen your dating pool beyond the queer women you already know. In 2019, HER revamped its profiles to let users get more creative in categories like gender, sexuality, pronouns, diet preferences (like veganism), and star signs, as well as a "What does this mean?" field in the sex, gender, and pronoun categories to supply a more well-rounded understanding of identity. The traditional text bio is where you can flex your sense of humor or describe what kind of relationship you're seeking. Joining niche groups like "newly out" or "travelers" can also connect you with people using the app for similar reasons.
Aside from coupling up, a lot of HER regulars are looking to make friends or scope out the queer community in a new town. Switching over to the community feed opens the door to virtual hangouts with self-curated groups for queer women of color or interests like the new lesbian films that mainstream Twitter will probably ignore. You might even get a head's up about a local LGBTQ+ event, or gauge interest in an event you're planning yourself.
Expands compatibility to social justice views • Shows a percentage for each match based on things you agree on (or not) • Trendy redesign is genuinely fun to navigate • Highly gender and orientation-inclusive space
Reports of data breaches • Not great in small/rural areas • Often marked as a free app, but you have to pay for the best features
The obvious open-minded, sex-positive crowd translates to a better experience for queer women.
OkCupid
Queer users are naturally drawn to OKC's inclusivity and knowledge that politics play a part in meshing romantically.- Free version: Yes
- OkCupid Basic: $19.99/month
- OkCupid Premium: $29.99/month
OkCupid's slogan is "Dating deserves better," and they're damn right — especially for queer and non-binary people. The nearly 20-year-old dating site has shed the heteronormativity skin that still somewhat plagues eharmony and Match. It's hip and well-informed, while maintaining a more serious atmosphere than Tinder.
OkCupid consistently leads the charge of inclusivity in online dating. In 2014 (years before any other dating site even had the thought), OkCupid began offering 22 gender and 13 orientation choices. Fast forward to 2020, when all users can choose their pronouns. The dedication to inclusivity and social justice is also clear with the introduction of and voter profile badges.
OkCupid's 2017 redesign goes past enlisting a clearly-millennial graphic designer. For young, left-leaning singles, personal politics aren't just a "well if we agree, it's great" thing when looking for a partner. Users can people they'd hate by answering deal-breakers about things like keeping a gun in the house or requiring children to be vaccinated.
OkCupid's connections are strengthened by an algorithm that picks matches based on how similarly both parties answered questions during sign-up (yes, there are questions about communication and sappy relationship things as well as political views.) A compatibility score plus details on where you disagreed are helpful padding when it comes to evaluating what differences are make-or-breaks.
OkCupid consistently leads the charge of inclusivity in online dating. In 2014 (years before any other dating site even had the thought), OkCupid began offering 22 gender and 13 orientation choices. Fast forward to 2020, when all users can choose their pronouns. The dedication to inclusivity and social justice is also clear with the introduction of and voter profile badges.
OkCupid's 2017 redesign goes past enlisting a clearly-millennial graphic designer. For young, left-leaning singles, personal politics aren't just a "well if we agree, it's great" thing when looking for a partner. Users can people they'd hate by answering deal-breakers about things like keeping a gun in the house or requiring children to be vaccinated.
OkCupid's connections are strengthened by an algorithm that picks matches based on how similarly both parties answered questions during sign-up (yes, there are questions about communication and sappy relationship things as well as political views.) A compatibility score plus details on where you disagreed are helpful padding when it comes to evaluating what differences are make-or-breaks.
Unique profile criteria like political affiliation and stance on marijuana • Diverse user base that's growing exponentially • Near-infinite pronoun options • Actually uses an algorithm • Less ignorant, horny people and unicorn hunters
Have to pay for unlimited matches • Still not great in small towns
Young people's new favorite app puts a hopeful, relationship-focused twist on instant gratification.
Hinge
The go-to app for millennials works to be a quality space for its queer users and is a bit more thoughtful than swiping apps.- Free version: Yes
- One month of Preferred: $12.99
- Three months of Preferred: $6.99/month
- Six months of Preferred: $4.99/month
Young people looking to at least go on a few dates with the same person instead of beelining for a friends with benefits situation was a blind spot for swiping apps — until Hinge blew up. The premise and user base might be in the Tinder and Bumble realm, but these three aren't interchangeable. Hinge's unique profile criteria and set matches up for . Some 90% say the first date was great and 72% are down for a second date.
Despite the fact that we're actively seeking out new dating apps and feel a rush every time a cute contender swipes right back, no one looking for something serious wants to be on these. That idea fueled Hinge's 2019 rebrand to "the dating app designed to be deleted."
Instead of cheesy questionnaires and spam emails about the 50 winks you've received, Hinge uses ice breakers to find you up to 10 matches per day. Instead of swiping, connections are made by liking or commenting on another person's answers. Prompts range from "Two truths and a lie" to "Does hiking on a Sunday morning seem viable to you too?" Conversations are hidden after 14 days of inactivity to keep the focus on matches who are taking meeting seriously. Paying for Hinge Preferred also lets you filter by political views.
Unlike Tinder and Bumble, which seem to have a broken gaydar, Hinge sees far less reports of men popping up in your feed uninvited. Hinge users also experience more genuine queer people (and less unicorn hunting) on the app compared to the other big players.
Despite the fact that we're actively seeking out new dating apps and feel a rush every time a cute contender swipes right back, no one looking for something serious wants to be on these. That idea fueled Hinge's 2019 rebrand to "the dating app designed to be deleted."
Instead of cheesy questionnaires and spam emails about the 50 winks you've received, Hinge uses ice breakers to find you up to 10 matches per day. Instead of swiping, connections are made by liking or commenting on another person's answers. Prompts range from "Two truths and a lie" to "Does hiking on a Sunday morning seem viable to you too?" Conversations are hidden after 14 days of inactivity to keep the focus on matches who are taking meeting seriously. Paying for Hinge Preferred also lets you filter by political views.
Unlike Tinder and Bumble, which seem to have a broken gaydar, Hinge sees far less reports of men popping up in your feed uninvited. Hinge users also experience more genuine queer people (and less unicorn hunting) on the app compared to the other big players.
SO many users • Even great in less-populated places • Nine orientation and 37 gender options • Safety features for LGBTQ+ travelers in homophobic countries
Guys and straight girls in your matches • Men pretending to be women
Tinder is a great place to find everyone nearby, but that includes some people you might not want to meet, like dudes.
Tinder
It's still a lawless land, but the huge LGBTQ+ user base and added pronouns make it a viable option.- Free version: Yes
- One month of Tinder Gold: $29.99
- Six months of Tinder Gold: $112.99 ($18.83 per month)
- One year of Tinder Gold: $149.99 ($12.50 per month)
- One month of Tinder Plus: $9.99
- Six months of Tinder Plus: $37.99 ($6.33 per month)
- One year of Tinder Plus: $49.99 ($4.17 per month)
Tinder is often bashed for its high level of creepy users and creepy messages — and rightfully so. But given its sheer numbers of active users (including queer ones), you know we couldn't leave it off the list.
Not many people can say that they don't know a single person in a relationship where the couple met on Tinder. (Countless success stories are told on Reddit when someone asks about where to meet other lesbians.) You know the drill: Add pictures, set an age range, and fill out a bio as seriously (or not) as you want. While the matching isn't exactly strategic, it's definitely the app that'll help most with scoping out the most lesbians in the doable vicinity. (Which is clutch, because one of the main lesbian complaints is that, um, there are none around.)
Though your feed will likely be packed with way more lesbians than other other apps, it'll see more appearances by men, too. Tinder has a tendency to ignore filters here and there, though men obviously can't talk to anyone who doesn't swipe right. Who can message you, though, are the girls you swipe right for who, surprise, aren't on Tinder to meet women romantically. Some are looking for friends, some are recruiting for a third for a threesome with their boyfriend — either way, you'll have to do some weeding.
Not many people can say that they don't know a single person in a relationship where the couple met on Tinder. (Countless success stories are told on Reddit when someone asks about where to meet other lesbians.) You know the drill: Add pictures, set an age range, and fill out a bio as seriously (or not) as you want. While the matching isn't exactly strategic, it's definitely the app that'll help most with scoping out the most lesbians in the doable vicinity. (Which is clutch, because one of the main lesbian complaints is that, um, there are none around.)
Though your feed will likely be packed with way more lesbians than other other apps, it'll see more appearances by men, too. Tinder has a tendency to ignore filters here and there, though men obviously can't talk to anyone who doesn't swipe right. Who can message you, though, are the girls you swipe right for who, surprise, aren't on Tinder to meet women romantically. Some are looking for friends, some are recruiting for a third for a threesome with their boyfriend — either way, you'll have to do some weeding.
Zero-tolerance policy toward creeps and hate speech of any kind • Text-based approach takes pressure of selfies • Ads give a lot of info but are still hot and mysterious
Still young and needs more users
Lex lets you dip your toes into the queer dating pool or meet a queer friend without photo pressure.
Lex
This newer space for women and non-binary users throws it back to the 80s with text-based ads and no selfies. We love an app that cuts the bullshit. In this case, the bullshit includes cisgender straight men. Lex (short for Lexicon, formerly known as Personals) is a seriously cool social app for queer, trans, gender non-conforming, two spirit, and non-binary people.
The specific demographic positions Lex to offer a more peaceful experience than "everyone" apps like Tinder and Bumble, but the way it goes about introducing users (as lovers or friends) is what makes it extra special. A nod to '80s and '90s lesbian erotica magazines, Lex users meet by posting personal ads about what (or who) they're looking for, relationship-wise. The ads, called personals, are a chance for users to showcase their wit and be straightforward as hell. Personals can get pretty horny, but it's all about the language — no photos, including selfies, are permitted. Users can link an Instagram account if they want.
The traditional swipe-and-match process? Lex doesn't know her. It operates similarly to Craigslist: If you see an ad that appeals to you, answer it. If you're over the tired dynamic of awkwardly testing the waters with a shy hottie you just matched with, you might appreciate how much backstory Lex supplies before a word is exchanged. If someone's interested in starting a band or planning a protest rather than having sex, they can — and both of those have happened, founder Kell Rakowski told Allure.
The specific demographic positions Lex to offer a more peaceful experience than "everyone" apps like Tinder and Bumble, but the way it goes about introducing users (as lovers or friends) is what makes it extra special. A nod to '80s and '90s lesbian erotica magazines, Lex users meet by posting personal ads about what (or who) they're looking for, relationship-wise. The ads, called personals, are a chance for users to showcase their wit and be straightforward as hell. Personals can get pretty horny, but it's all about the language — no photos, including selfies, are permitted. Users can link an Instagram account if they want.
The traditional swipe-and-match process? Lex doesn't know her. It operates similarly to Craigslist: If you see an ad that appeals to you, answer it. If you're over the tired dynamic of awkwardly testing the waters with a shy hottie you just matched with, you might appreciate how much backstory Lex supplies before a word is exchanged. If someone's interested in starting a band or planning a protest rather than having sex, they can — and both of those have happened, founder Kell Rakowski told Allure.
20+ sexual and gender identities • Users understand fluidity and respect boundaries • Lower chance of intentions getting blurred • Crazy high app store rating
App glitches constantly • Flooded with catfish
Singles and couples make up Feeld's ethically non-monogamous community, where 45% of users identify as non-hetero.
Feeld
Skip the wine and dine and get right to the 69 on this inclusive hookup app for singles *and* couples.- Free version: Yes
- One month of Feeld Majestic: $11.99
- Three months of Feeld Majestic: $23.99 ($7.99 per month)
Lesbians aren't against using a dating app to find a threesome — they'd just prefer that the search doesn't involve pesky straight people. Feeld, the brainchild of a couple that knows non-hetero non-monogamy through personal experience, is a dating app for couples and singles to find threesomes, foursomes, or however many people you want. (This isn't the first dating site to focus on non-monogamous sex, but it is the first to do it in a way that doesn't look like a pop-up ad.) .
Sex positivity is the name of the game here, but not in the hyper-fetishizing way. You can get specific about boundaries, find people with the same kinks, and advertise what (who?) you're looking for in your bio without issue. People on Feeld are generally chill, respectful, and can talk about sex without frothing at the mouth. Because more-than-two sex is the entire point of the app, people are typically honest about intentions right out of the gate.
LGBTQ+ folks appreciate Feeld because it appreciates them. The app offers more than 20 sexual and gender identities and there's a comforting understanding between users about what those identities mean. According to the company's own stats, 35% of users are on the app with a partner and 45% identify as something other than heterosexual. The describes it as "a dating app with options that put the Kinsey scale to shame."
Sex positivity is the name of the game here, but not in the hyper-fetishizing way. You can get specific about boundaries, find people with the same kinks, and advertise what (who?) you're looking for in your bio without issue. People on Feeld are generally chill, respectful, and can talk about sex without frothing at the mouth. Because more-than-two sex is the entire point of the app, people are typically honest about intentions right out of the gate.
LGBTQ+ folks appreciate Feeld because it appreciates them. The app offers more than 20 sexual and gender identities and there's a comforting understanding between users about what those identities mean. According to the company's own stats, 35% of users are on the app with a partner and 45% identify as something other than heterosexual. The describes it as "a dating app with options that put the Kinsey scale to shame."
Shows birth chart of every potential match • Queer users can opt out of seeing or being seen by straight people • Many pronoun and sexuality options • Less rigid than Bumble's sun sign filtering
Crashes often • Login/password issues • Not enough users yet
Tired of haggling your date about their birth time? NUiT has already compiled their whole birth chart.
NUiT
A magical app that takes care of asking for someone's birth time, plus a truly special feature for queer people. NUiT crosses two major complaints off the list: It nixes the need for the notorious "What time were you born?" question, and it won't force queer people to see (or be seen by) straight people.
Remember when it would let users filter matches by their zodiac sign? NUiT is the better version of that. The creators at NUiT know that, for many, birth charts can be a wildly helpful tool in maneuvering the dating world by predicting how well you'd mesh with someone in aspects like argument stye or the importance of sex. NUiT also accounts for the nuances in different combinations of placements outside of sun signs. It encourages daters to use astrological compatibility as insight to understand why a match might act the way they do, but does so while avoiding overly-simplistic "What fried food you are based on your zodiac sign" energy. People who study astrology will be the first to tell you that astrology is a cosmic guide to behaviors, but it isn't tell-all as to how good of a partner or friend someone will be.
Creators also recognized another thing that turns queer users off to heteronormative dating apps: They don't want to see or be seen by straight people. Sure, Tinder and OkCupid have their share of well-meaning allies — but the lack of shared experience as a queer person can make or break a relationship's dynamic. Such a feature has been a long time coming as dating apps increase focus on inclusivity, and people on Twitter are .
Remember when it would let users filter matches by their zodiac sign? NUiT is the better version of that. The creators at NUiT know that, for many, birth charts can be a wildly helpful tool in maneuvering the dating world by predicting how well you'd mesh with someone in aspects like argument stye or the importance of sex. NUiT also accounts for the nuances in different combinations of placements outside of sun signs. It encourages daters to use astrological compatibility as insight to understand why a match might act the way they do, but does so while avoiding overly-simplistic "What fried food you are based on your zodiac sign" energy. People who study astrology will be the first to tell you that astrology is a cosmic guide to behaviors, but it isn't tell-all as to how good of a partner or friend someone will be.
Creators also recognized another thing that turns queer users off to heteronormative dating apps: They don't want to see or be seen by straight people. Sure, Tinder and OkCupid have their share of well-meaning allies — but the lack of shared experience as a queer person can make or break a relationship's dynamic. Such a feature has been a long time coming as dating apps increase focus on inclusivity, and people on Twitter are .
24-hour matching period gets rid of dead matches • Allows backtracking if you accidentally swipe left • BFF feature could help to find friends in the LGBTQ+ community • Many gender pronouns
Straight people might still pop up
One of Tinder's closest competitors insists that matches actually talk to each other.
Bumble
Bumble falls victim to the same heteronormative issues, but its 24-hour matching period eliminates dead matches.- Basic plan : Free
- Bumble Boost: $7.99/month or $2.99/week
In an attempt to correct one of the common complaints of dating apps — that women get spammed with tons of creepy messages — women are required to message first with Bumble. That method obviously doesn't apply to woman-woman matches, but that hasn't hampered the queer user base much.
Someone literally has to message within 24 hours, or the match goes away. This punchy (albeit a bit jarring) approach could be refreshing for people who are tired of staring at a list of Tinder matches from six months ago. If nothing else, it's a comfort zone pusher — and a confidence booster when those first messages start coming in. Bumble also allows you to "backtrack" and bring back and accidentally left swipe up to three times per day.
You'll see pictures and short bios of potential matches in your area and can swipe depending on whether you're interested. It's a pretty close mock of Tinder, except for the fact that Bumble relieves the anxiety of accidentally swiping left on a hottie by letting you backtrack. Bumble also offers a (great for making local, queer friends) and a in attempts to remind everyone that it's not just a hookup app.
Someone literally has to message within 24 hours, or the match goes away. This punchy (albeit a bit jarring) approach could be refreshing for people who are tired of staring at a list of Tinder matches from six months ago. If nothing else, it's a comfort zone pusher — and a confidence booster when those first messages start coming in. Bumble also allows you to "backtrack" and bring back and accidentally left swipe up to three times per day.
You'll see pictures and short bios of potential matches in your area and can swipe depending on whether you're interested. It's a pretty close mock of Tinder, except for the fact that Bumble relieves the anxiety of accidentally swiping left on a hottie by letting you backtrack. Bumble also offers a (great for making local, queer friends) and a in attempts to remind everyone that it's not just a hookup app.
No crossed signals, mushy messages, or waiting • Artsy design and modern layout • Everything is deleted after 24 hours • Stellar reviews in App Store
A bit infiltrated with scammers • Price point is unnecessarily high • Infiltrated with scammers/catfish • Definitely won't be useful in small towns
Self-proclaimed "the hookup app," the success of this hipster Snapchat for sex depends on the day.
Pure
The least obnoxious (and most hipster) hookup app out there that guarantees no-strings-attached booty calls.- Free version: Yes (trial)
- One week: $14.99
- One month: $29.99
Women freely expressing their sexuality online is a beautiful thing — one that can be soiled quickly by male entitlement. Whether you're not comfortable with putting "sex only" in your Tinder bio for the locals to see or if you're simply a practicer of non-attachment with the people you bang, Pure is a safer, hip solution.
App rules urge you to "pretend like you're strangers afterwards," making no-strings-attached the only name of the game here. This hella millennial app is a sex-positive, 18+ safe space that features some pretty cool art — the blueprint of the truly modern hookup app.
Your selfies, bio, conversations, matches, and likes self destruct every 24 hours, promoting spur-of-the-moment, borderline anonymous hookups. No nudity is allowed and any photos sent in messages can't be saved. (As the dry-humored comics on their website state, "Don't talk about your problems. Problems are for therapists. Pure is for fun.") The app will ask for your phone number, but that's just to make sure you're a real person. The app uses your geolocation and sends out the , though the sparse user base might have your searches suggesting the same few people.
gives all the feels of a sex-based site without the obnoxious naked parts and porn ads everywhere. (Cough ** cough) Running into bots and people trying to make money is likely, but the spammy stuff isn't nearly as rampant as traditional hookup sites.
App rules urge you to "pretend like you're strangers afterwards," making no-strings-attached the only name of the game here. This hella millennial app is a sex-positive, 18+ safe space that features some pretty cool art — the blueprint of the truly modern hookup app.
Your selfies, bio, conversations, matches, and likes self destruct every 24 hours, promoting spur-of-the-moment, borderline anonymous hookups. No nudity is allowed and any photos sent in messages can't be saved. (As the dry-humored comics on their website state, "Don't talk about your problems. Problems are for therapists. Pure is for fun.") The app will ask for your phone number, but that's just to make sure you're a real person. The app uses your geolocation and sends out the , though the sparse user base might have your searches suggesting the same few people.
gives all the feels of a sex-based site without the obnoxious naked parts and porn ads everywhere. (Cough ** cough) Running into bots and people trying to make money is likely, but the spammy stuff isn't nearly as rampant as traditional hookup sites.
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