Girl im dating still on bumble

The high-tech future is already in our smartphone screens slowly moving us to the reality of “Black Mirror.” If you remember, in this tv-series people met each other in an online app that could find a 99.9% match for anyone. Could you find your soulmate by just uploading a dating app to your phone today?

Bright Side will tell you a story of someone who has been trying to answer this question using the most popular dating app — Tinder.

Hi everyone! My name is Julia and I use Tinder. This sounds like an AA meeting introduction, and it partially is that.

So my Tinder story started several years ago. 2 of my friends already used the app and I heard so many funny stories from them that I also wanted to use this thing. And yes, I wanted to meet someone for a serious relationship, not just for a couple of dates.

And somehow, after my first attempt, I found what I was looking for: the first guy I met became my boyfriend.

But life is not a fairytale, and after a long relationship we ended things. And this was the moment when I really started using Tinder. So last year was officially a dating year [laughing]. I have come to certain conclusions and now I have my own funny stories that I want to tell you about.

I’ll start with the fact that you can understand a person’s intention by the place they choose for the first date.

Most of the time, I was invited to get coffee or go on a walk. Watching a movie is a scenario for the second date because you can’t really talk in the theater. If you are invited to a nightclub or to a party, this is a signal that they don’t want a serious relationship. This mostly means that a person is looking for any companion for an event. Once I invited a guy to a musical festival in order to not be alone with him and check him out in a safe place.

But once, I had a very unusual date: I agreed to meet with a guy downtown. He made a good impression on me right away. We greeted each other and he took me to a football game but we never went on any more dates.

Online profiles and reality are 2 completely different things.

At one point, I met a guy who was on vacation in Spain. He had several photos on his profile: in one of them I couldn’t see his face, and on the other he was sitting in a chair with his legs crossed. I didn’t see any catch and based on texts, I thought that he was an interesting man. And he didn’t just text me, once he sent me flowers and even got 2 tickets (for me and my friend) to a really cool festival I hadn’t even dreamed of going to.

When he returned we agreed to meet each other. He politely picked me up even though he lived on the other side of the city. I went outside but couldn’t find him. And he was saying on the phone, “I’m here! Next to the red car!”

And then, I saw a guy who was barely as tall as my shoulder. At the moment I had that feeling (you have it very often when you meet Tinder users) when you want to hit rewind, but you have to go forward because he saw you and you saw him. I started walking toward him, talking to my friend in my thoughts, imagining how I would tell this story to her sitting in the kitchen. I also thought that maybe it wasn’t a total disaster yet and we drove downtown. But during the entire evening he spoke in a very quiet and monotonous voice about his passion for history and his dog. His voice became a little louder only when he said the words “my Cadillac,” which happened pretty often. And when he started talking about ancient Poland, I wanted to kill myself. Right inside the Cadillac.

Rely on your instincts when using Tinder.

There is an inexplicable thing about dating: just as soon as you see a person, you already know with 100% certainty if you will communicate with them or not. Even if they look like the man of your dreams, in some cases, you already know that you have no future. I tried to change my own opinion about this, but my instinct won over and over again.

It actually happened to me once with a seemingly perfect guy. He was handsome, he traveled a lot, he told interesting stories about his job, and he had a great way of thinking: he talked about ecological problems, he sent documentaries to me, and so on. And on Tinder, people rarely talk about anything but their own lives. The only problem was that he posted a photo of himself with no shirt on. And these photos indicate only one thing: this person is looking for a one night stand. Intuitively I understood that but my mind kept telling me, “Look at him! He is so interesting. What if he’s not like that?”

As it turned out, he was in Rome when we were actively texting. And when he arrived back home he texted me (I was at the movie theater at that moment) and told me that he was going to get rid of the tattoo of his ex-wife’s initials. The entire movie theater heard me laugh. I just couldn’t stop.

But in fact, the situation was much more depressing: the guy couldn’t forget about his ex and he was doing everything he could to stay busy with work, sports, traveling, documentaries, checking out her photos, and, of course, Tinder.

All dates are mostly just one-time meetings. And be careful: you might just see these people again.

Most of my dates were singular meetings. There was only one guy that I met 3 times, but then he returned to the US to study at a music academy in New Orleans. I learned a lot about the US culture, music, and traveling. Tinder can teach us a lot of things.

Just a little bit of advice on Tinder ethics: If both parties think that the date was a failure, you basically just forget each other after you say “Okay, I’ll text you.” If you didn’t like a guy, you just ignore his messages. Yes it’s ugly, but it’s better than telling someone directly that you didn’t like them at all.

There was only one time when I really thought the guy was “the one” but he never invited me on a second date. Our paths ended up crossing later, but not in the way I wanted.

I had gone to the movies with my gay friend and we were in a line for popcorn when I noticed “the one” coming toward me. We saw each other, smiled, and nodded at each other. He then ran into the hall. Please note: there were about 20 theaters in this venue. My friend and I had gone to see some art movie and we bought the introvert seats: on the side of the first row.