Dated this girl I met online, and we went on a few dates. She's definitely done nothing wrong but has been very clear she wants to see me ALL THE TIME. I just don't feel the same way and am ready to end things. I don't want to just cut her off completely. What's a good way to tell her "I'm not interested"?
—Question via Reddit, edited for length
RedEye digital content coordinator | Single | 22 | @shelbielbostedt
I know it’s the most clichéd piece of advice in the book, but be honest. If you’re just not feeling it, you owe it to her to tell her sooner rather than later. While it may be awkward and uncomfortable to have to tell someone you’re just not into them, it’s easier than the pain they’d have to deal with of being dragged along if you keep on keepin’ on. And whatever you do, don’t ghost.
RedEye digital editor | Married | 32 | @michelleglopez
Yikes. I know you mentioned that she didn’t do anything wrong, but it’s hard to not be a little scared off by someone who’s seeming very clingy from the get-go. Sometimes people just don’t jell together, and that’s totally fine. It’s great that you established that a few dates in, rather than waste your time—and hers. Now, you say you don’t want to cut it off completely. Are you interested in a friendship with her? Don’t offer it up if you don’t mean it, she will most likely take you up on it. No? OK, then it’s time to rip off the Band-Aid. Tell her you don’t see much potential in you two as a couple. If that’s too harsh and you want something less awkward, you could always say you’re taking some time for yourself and pressing pause on online dating.
Writer and editor | In a relationship | 24 | @courtneyjacquin
Besides yelling, “SLOW DOWN, CRAZY, SLOW DOWN,” just be as forward as possible. That might be a little too forward, but just be straight-up and say, “Hey, you’re a really cool girl, but this isn’t what I’m looking for right now.” It might hurt her feelings for a bit, especially if she’s totally into you, but things will be much worse if you keep stringing her along when you’re not interested whatsoever. The thing is, though, you’re not friends, so please don’t tell her, “Hey, let’s stay friends!”, because it’s BS and never works. Even if you dig hanging out with her, things will get too complicated if she has feelings and you don’t. So you might just have to cut your losses and cut it off completely, otherwise she might get the wrong idea and everyone will end up confused and sad.
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