Florida dating girls

It doesn’t matter if you’re in sunny Fort Lauderdale or the foliage-rich northeast. Fall means one thing: cuffing season.

If you don’t know the term, cuffing season is the autumn-winter period when people are apparently more likely to pair off with a special somebody to help them get through the chill. Or, in our case, the brutal, iguana-stunning, wear-your-cardigan-once South Florida winter.

And yes it’s probably a sad commentary on modern society that “cuffing” is a reference to handcuffs, as in, by entering into a committed relationship you’re handcuffing yourself to somebody else. But we digress.

If you’re hoping to meet a boyfriend, girlfriend, future spouse or friend with benefits (FWB) for the 2019-20 cuffing season, you can do what the early prehistoric humans did and go to a bar — or you can get on dating apps like Tinder, Bumble, Hinge, or the new Facebook Dating.

And on there you’ll probably notice that certain themes repeatedly pop up on the screen from the fish that make up the vast sea that is South Florida’s dating scene.

Here’s a rundown of South Florida dating app clichés. (And no, we are not going to use photos from actual profiles. It’s already hard enough out there and that wouldn’t be cool.)

This is a thing in the water-loving culture that is South Florida. Guys probably do it more, but some of the girls do it too. They post pictures of themselves holding dead fish that they’ve just caught.

It’s so ubiquitous that women joke about it in their bios, often remarking that they can’t understand why anybody would think a dead fish pic is attractive or sexy, that if they see a dead fish they’re swiping left.

Granted, a lot of men and women like to fish, and they probably use their love of angling to hook up (pun intended) and reel each other in (pun also intended), but it’s still kinda weird. Especially when the person is holding a giant marlin and is literally covered in the dead fish’s blood. (We are not making this up, but again, we’re not going to be mean and use anybody’s profiles picture here.)

On dating apps, a code word has emerged in recent years for the one-night stand: “hookup.”

Because men can basically be salivating dogs, many women state right up front in their bios that they’re “not here for random hookups.” The number of men who state in their bios that they’re not looking for random hookups? We can count them on exactly zero fingers.

What’s up with this? Seriously. Yoga poses on cliffs. Yoga poses with mountains in the background. On beaches. On every other person’s dating profile.

That glass floor in Chicago

It’s kind of amazing how many profile pictures feature the person sitting on that glass ledge that extends out from the 103rd floor of the Willis Tower (formerly known as the Sears Tower) in Chicago. It’s a cool view so we can’t blame them.

Americans love guns, and many Americans who love guns are also looking for love. So they post pictures of themselves clutching a big rifle or squeezing off a few rounds from a pistol at the local gun range. Which is pretty smart, because guns are obviously a polarizing topic for some people, so why would a firearms enthusiast want to trigger feelings of romance with somebody who isn’t gung ho for guns?

After matching with somebody on a dating app, you text back and forth with them in an effort to get to know each other, with the ultimate goal, if there’s chemistry, to actually meet in person. Apparently a lot of people didn’t get this memo, however, and they just text and text and text without any suggestion of ever meeting up.

Weird, isn’t it? Well, it’s common enough that it’s a regular thing to see people stating in their bios that they “don’t want pen pals."

In 2019, sarcasm is apparently a winning personality trait

A lot of people boast of being sarcastic on their profiles and demand that any potential suitor be able to keep up with their sarcasm. Which is, well, really fantastic and amazing.

Beware the Snapchat dudes

If you meet a guy on Tinder or any other dating app and that guy asks you if you have Snapchat, the app where users can send pictures that then disappear, it usually means one thing, and it’s not a good thing, and we’ll just leave it at that.