Dating for guys sucks

You’re a total catch, but that doesn’t make dating any easier. In fact, it could be why it’s so hard to find a happy, healthy relationship. Here are 14 reasons why your awesomeness could be to blame for your lackluster love life — and why you shouldn’t change.

You don’t play games but others do. 

You’re honest and would rather be real than play stupid games to try to keep men interested. Sadly, many men are playing games these days — it’s just that we call them “mixed messages” instead of games. You’d rather be single than deal with such childishness, and rightfully so.

You’re genuinely nice and get taken advantage of.

Being kind can bite you in the butt because of how horribly toxic people will treat the good people of this world. Prepare to get taken advantage of by bad men who steamroll over you. Ugh. A good rule to follow is to be kind to those who truly deserve it so you don’t become a doormat.

You don’t swipe right for attention like others do. 

Some people use dating apps like Tinder to get attention. They’ll swipe right just to show interest in the hope of getting attention back. What are we, five years old? You’re on that app to meet someone who’s really interested, but these losers are wasting your time.

You put in effort but live in a lazy world. 

You’re a person who doesn’t expect your partner to do everything. You’re all about meeting them halfway and working on making the relationship work. It sucks because so many guys are lazy AF, expecting you to chase them and then keep the relationship going.

You’re not crazy but it feels like you’re in the minority. 

It sounds, well, crazy to say that not being crazy should be something that makes dating suck, but it’s true. There are many legit crazy people out there who are making dating a minefield. As a sane, healthy woman in the dating world, it’s so tough to find people who are right in the head.

You’re a cheerleader but it’s hard to find support. 

When you’re in a relationship, you’re always eager to show your boyfriend support, like when he gets a work promotion or his soccer team wins their league. Sometimes it’s hard to find people who will support you in return. If they’re not jealous of your success, they’re sometimes too selfish to care about it. Ugh.

You make your own way, only to get rejected. 

You’re not a gold digger or hoping to find a man to rescue you. You’re independent, have a thriving career and make your own money. The problem? Some men are intimidated by this. You can’t win!

Your standards have to keep you warm at night. 

You can’t date without having high standards in place to ensure you love yourself first and don’t put up with disrespect. It’s not always easy. Sometimes you keep meeting men who aren’t up to your standards, tempting you to lower them. But you don’t, of course — you know that your happiness is the most important thing, much more important than finding a guy.

You live bold in an insecure world. 

You’re not an insecure woman. In fact, you just don’t see the point of being jealous of your boyfriend’s ex or worrying that your boyfriend’s going to leave. But the problem with being confident is that you might attract all the insecure men who are drawn to your bold presence. You don’t need that crap.

You don’t deal in drama but it’s some people’s currency. 

You’re quite a chilled woman and don’t like to bring stress to relationships. The problem you might face is that you’re a magnet for drama despite this! What gives? Toxic men try to corrupt you or charm you so they can benefit from your stress-free life. They’re hoping that since you have your act together, you’ll help them with theirs. Nope, sorry.

You actually use your phone. 

What’s the point of having a cell phone if you’re not going to use it? When chatting to a guy you like, you make an effort to text him back even if you’re busy AF. It’s the decent thing to do and if you enjoy chatting you make it known. If everyone could just stop hiding behind their screens and actually speak to each other, there wouldn’t be a need for nonsense like ghosting.

You’re not a hookup person but hooking up is the norm. 

We live in a hookup culture, but you’re looking for something meaningful. It’s not easy because everywhere you turn, there are guys asking you what you’re wearing, sending you penis pictures instead of asking about your day, and saying they’re “not ready” for relationships but hoping you’re down for Netflix and chill. FML.

You actually put your real pic on Tinder. 

You don’t judge people according to their looks, but you want to be sure that there’s attraction between you and the men you meet online. So, you’ll put your real, un-Photoshopped images on dating apps. Sadly, not many people do — men included — which makes your dating app attempts a catfish disaster waiting to happen.

You don’t know what it means to settle. 

You see people settling for mediocre relationships all around you, but you’re just not hardwired to do that. You want the great love, the love that brings something positive to your life, and isn’t all hard work and no fun. It’s really hard to find it when there are average relationships all over the place for the taking, but the wait for something better is worth it!

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Jessica Blake Jessica Blake is a writer who loves good books and good men, and realizes how difficult it is to find both.