Successful women and dating

First of all, this isn’t up for debate. As my eleven-year-old son would say, this is #facts.

Also, men, this article isn’t for you. It’s about you but it isn’t for you. So mind your business.

Ladies, we have to do better. We have to raise the bar. It’s about to be 2020 and my ears burn every time I hear one of my sisterfriends lament on her ex who is dragging her down from the phenomenal woman she was born to be. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve been there. Imagine my surprise when my ex-husband asked the judge for alimony, child support, a car and half my house I paid for before we married. Divorce, and breakups, are an ugly process and successful women have to learn to date strategically.

Yes sis, follow your heart.

Relationships should be based on love but there has to be a man you can find that you love and has his life together. We weren’t born to fail and it’s time for us to win. There are plenty of men in the dating pond. If he doesn’t come correct, throw him back sis and let him drown on his own. He may be the perfect man for someone on his level but your vagina, and your heart is not community service. Demand more.

Too many women are comfortable raising men instead of creating foundations that they can spring from. There is nothing rewarding about breathing life into men with half the ambition and half the earning potential as you, leaving you lifeless and exhausted wondering where you went wrong. Yes, money isn’t everything but with most divorces ending over finances, you are lying to yourself if you don’t admit to yourself that money is one of the most important factors in a relationship.

Do you know what else is important? Sex.

I slowly sip my tall White Mocha judgingly whenever I hear women in relationships complain about mediocre or non-existent sex lives. As a single woman, I don’t put up with bad sex. #Next

Sis, do better. It’s almost 2020. If the relationship doesn’t work out, that body doesn’t count.

Also, let me let you in on a little secret.

You don’t have to get married. You can earn money, travel, have multiple partners and weave in and out of relationships that don’t leave you feeling amazing. Why are so many women loyal to men who aren’t loyal to the idea of keeping their women happy?

Do you even know what you like? What’s your favorite sex position? What’s your five-year plan? Not the five-year plan that tells you that you must be married with a baby…I’m talking about YOUR goals and what makes YOU happy. What’s your favorite country to travel to? Do you prefer white or red wines? What exactly is your type when it comes to men? Baby girl, if you can’t at least answer these questions without hesitation, maybe it’s time to start dating yourself so you can begin to create a measuring stick in which to assess your potential mates against.

Engagement rings, weddings, husbands, and babies aren’t all it’s cracked up to be. Learn yourself. Love yourself fiercely. Don’t put up with anyone who doesn’t make you feel amazing. You weren’t meant to be put on this Earth to die alone. When the time comes, the perfect person will come along and you will be happy you waited. You owe it to yourself, and your future, to be patient and live your best life so you walk into the woman you were destined to be. There are rewards on the other side of patience and loving yourself.

#HappyDating