Long term dating sites free - and
For finding a serious relationship, these dating sites are the best
When you're dating to find "the one," only a handful of dating sites and their multi-faceted algorithms can help you steer clear of a friends with benefits situation. And while there are plenty of options for hooking up, these are the ones that allow you to dive deeper and find someone who's in it for the long haul.
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By Leah Stodart
Anyone who's been doing the online dating thing for a while knows that there's hookup culture and then there's long-term relationship dating culture. Most online dating sites have a mix of both, and after living with online dating as an increasingly ubiquitous option for the past 20 years, the general public (mostly) sees dating sites as a super normal means to find casual dates or a hookup.
But what if you're looking for a serious relationship or even something long-term? What if you just don't want to be alone on Valentine's Day ever again? What if you're over casual dating and just want someone consistent to come home to? What if you have no idea where to start? Match and eharmony likely come to mind — but how do they even compare? Keep reading.
Can you really fall in love with someone online?
The long-term potential of online dating is still met with a cloud of doubt. However, new evidence is proving that relationships that started online might have a stronger foundation than those that started offline. A 2017 study cited in the MIT Technology Review found that people who meet online are more likely to be compatible and have a higher chance of a healthy marriage if they decide to get hitched. If marriage is your goal, you'll be glad to know that another recent study found that heterosexual couples who met online were quicker to tie the knot than couples who met offline. Either way, online dating seems to be a good recipe for a satisfying, long-term relationship whether it involves marriage or not.
No one is saying that online dating is the variable that changes everything, but the research does point to the fact that people who sign up for dating sites that require thoughtful responses are more ready to settle down.
Enter: A pandemic that made booty calling strangers a no-no. The uptick in sign-ups — due to sheer boredom or the forced realization that you'd really like someone to cuddle with on a nightly basis — obviously ups your chances of meeting someone special. More people to look through means more chances of coming across someone special, right?
However, there's another hidden upside to looking for "the one" in a time when dating seems impossible: It's now pretty damn easy to separate the genuine relationship seekers from the hookup seekers. When someone knows they may not be able to meet you in person for a few months, the ones who are impatient and aggressively horny will weed themselves out. With less social or sports events on our calendars, many people have more free time than they would in "regular" life. So if you're left on read, taking the hint that they're not interested (rather than assuming they're busy and waiting around) can give you more time to focus on finding a mutual connection.
The immediate popularity of new video apps give us hope that romantic first dates aren't dead, and someone's willingness to virtually date you for weeks (or months) is a pretty clear sign that they're genuinely interested in learning more about you. Both Match Group (owners of Match, Tinder, and Hinge) as well as Bumble have even been seeing longer conversations between their users since April. Social distancing is also an easy excuse to get rid of someone who only asks you to come over after midnight. Besides, you wouldn't want to start anything serious with someone who pressures you to hang out when you don't feel safe, anyway.
What makes a dating site better for relationships than others?
Do we even need to get into why Tinder is a long shot? Is being introduced to nearly every person in a 10-mile radius worth the shitty bios about The Office or how they're "not looking for commitment?" Sure, Tinder has its fair share of those lucky success stories, but it's also the dating app where ghosting, breadcrumbing, and every other disheartening dating trend flourish.
Singles looking for something serious ASAP might get frustrated with sites that only give a limited number of matches per day. But choosing sites that force you to be selective really heightens the focus on what you're truly looking for in a forever partner — and gets you closer to that cuffing status.
For online daters who want the power to peruse the dating pool, you need to seek out detailed, high-energy profiles that give a well-rounded idea of who you're messaging. Swiping is guided by the compatibility ranking that most sites offer, which predicts how well you'll get along with other daters based on how you both answered questions. Plus, you can tell how much other daters care about the process by how much effort they put into their profile. If a single sentence about being drama free is the extent of someone's bio, you can assume that 1. they're not taking this seriously and 2. they create drama.
OkCupid has a particularly strong red flag game: The site has found that personal politics are a major deciding factor for young people choosing a partner, and profile building revolves around make-or-break stances on things like women's issues or whether they bother to vote. Aside from a compatibility percentage, OkCupid shows what issues the person gives a shit about (or not) so you don't get stuck on a first date with someone who's on the opposite end of the spectrum.
WATCH: How to go on a virtual date during the coronavirus pandemic
Potential dates will analyze your profile, so make sure it does you justice
On its face, it makes sense to question the legitimacy of a connection with someone who is only showcasing their best self. But how much more information are you really getting from the tipsy person hitting on you at the bar aside from what they look like IRL? The dating sites that let users express themselves with prompts — from favorite movies to where you want to retire — are setting you up for success by avoiding an unnecessary argument six months in.
SEE ALSO: 6 ways to make your dating app profile stand out from the crowd
The best way to attract genuine people? Be authentic yourself. That's easier said than done when your biggest worry is that a truthful answer — like the fact that you might not be as good of a communicator as you would like — will deter "the one" from swiping right. But deep down, you know that lying on a compatibility questionnaire probably won't lead to a healthy relationship.
Until a smarter AI can read minds and simply ban hookup seekers from serious sites, these are the best datings sites for serious relationships:
Lets you choose dealbreakers • New emergency features and AI photo verification coming soon • Massive user base, even in less-populated areas • Laid back profile building • Free users can now message their Top Picks
Constantly bombarded with notifications • Recent legal issues with FTC • No support for non-binary users
Match's proven success rate over the decades and evolving mobile adaptions keep it a go-to for all ages.
Match
The OG dating site reigns supreme with a proven algorithm and more users than the population of NYC.- Free version: Yes
- One month: $35.99
- Three months: $19.99/month
- Six months: $17.99/month
- One year: $15.99/month
Long-term relationships are the name of the game at Match. You can admit that it's kind of comforting that you've been seeing TV commercials about the success of Match.com for the past 20-some years. Launched in 1995, its decades in the business help Match bring a comforting level of experience to the table for singles wary about online dating. The OG site is so confident in the blueprint it's been perfecting over the years that it guarantees that you'll find someone in six months. If you don't, you get six months for free.
Match continues to solidify its spot as a well-rounded choice for all ages because it refuses to get lost as an antiquated, corny dating site.You're at least tediously scrolling through people Match thinks you'll like based on shared interests like volunteering or clubbing, pet preferences, whether you want (or have) kids and more. If something like smoking cigarettes is a deal breaker, you can indicate that, too.
Match has so many online daters in its arsenal (more than the population of New York City, in fact) that it's hard to avoid the notification onslaught even if you live in a less-populated area. However, it should slow down once the algorithm starts learning about your swiping behaviors.
Most of us would like to believe that anyone paying $20 per month is genuinely looking for a seriously relationship, but Match has had its fair share of extreme catfishing (like the guy who claimed to be a millionaire and then scammed $80,000 from the woman he was talking to). But they're working to make this better. In fact, Match.com is set to follow Tinder as the second Match Group app to utilize location-based emergency services via Noonlight as well as photo verification to authenticate users and ensure that they're the same person that's in their profile pictures.
Match continues to solidify its spot as a well-rounded choice for all ages because it refuses to get lost as an antiquated, corny dating site.You're at least tediously scrolling through people Match thinks you'll like based on shared interests like volunteering or clubbing, pet preferences, whether you want (or have) kids and more. If something like smoking cigarettes is a deal breaker, you can indicate that, too.
Match has so many online daters in its arsenal (more than the population of New York City, in fact) that it's hard to avoid the notification onslaught even if you live in a less-populated area. However, it should slow down once the algorithm starts learning about your swiping behaviors.
Most of us would like to believe that anyone paying $20 per month is genuinely looking for a seriously relationship, but Match has had its fair share of extreme catfishing (like the guy who claimed to be a millionaire and then scammed $80,000 from the woman he was talking to). But they're working to make this better. In fact, Match.com is set to follow Tinder as the second Match Group app to utilize location-based emergency services via Noonlight as well as photo verification to authenticate users and ensure that they're the same person that's in their profile pictures.
Modern redesign that's genuinely fun to navigate • Dedicated space in bio for preferred pronouns • Mostly free plus affordable add-ons with A-List • Politics and social justice views are important compatibility ingredients
Not great in small towns
Millennials who follow the news will dig the Tumblr vibe and matchmaking that stays relevant to the times.
OkCupid
Witty and queer-friendly, OkCupid provides high-level matchmaking for singles who will only get serious with woke people.- Free version: Yes
- One month: $9.95/month
- Three months: $7.95/month
- Six months: $4.95/month
For young, liberal voters, politics aren't just a "well if we agree, it's great" thing when looking for a serious partner — it's the make or break for a solid foundation. OkCupid's 2017 redesign is more than just millennial aesthetics: It's geared toward ensuring that you don't end up on a date with someone who doesn't pay attention. The addition of 12 gender identities and 20 sexual orientations also makes it a safer space for non-binary and queer individuals to find love while using the pronouns they love.
Don't let OkCupid's cheeky ads about being "left-leaning" (like politics, but also...you know) make you put it in the "horny" category. Upon signup, you'll be asked whether you're looking for a hookup, friends, or short or long-term dating so that OkCupid doesn't set you up with someone who's not on the same page. At any rate, the importance placed on such weighted issues and profile building that requires thought are both pretty big deterrents for people who aren't taking dating seriously.
Users can illuminate the issues they hold dear and weed out people they'd want to argue with by answering deal-breakers like "Would you date someone who keeps a gun in the house?" or "Should the government require children be vaccinated for preventable diseases?" As one of the most inclusive dating sites on the market by far, OkCupid is known for its decision to let all users to choose their pronouns. In June 2020, the site introduced a Black Lives Matter badge for your profile.
Politics aren't the only compatibility factor here. OKCupid has in-depth user bios, but profile building isn't long or tedious at all. The questions are smart and dive into your dating style without being too mushy. You'll even get to see the percentage of how much you have in common with other daters based on the questions you both answer. It's an algorithm that OKC has been perfecting and evolving since their launch in 2004.
Don't let OkCupid's cheeky ads about being "left-leaning" (like politics, but also...you know) make you put it in the "horny" category. Upon signup, you'll be asked whether you're looking for a hookup, friends, or short or long-term dating so that OkCupid doesn't set you up with someone who's not on the same page. At any rate, the importance placed on such weighted issues and profile building that requires thought are both pretty big deterrents for people who aren't taking dating seriously.
Users can illuminate the issues they hold dear and weed out people they'd want to argue with by answering deal-breakers like "Would you date someone who keeps a gun in the house?" or "Should the government require children be vaccinated for preventable diseases?" As one of the most inclusive dating sites on the market by far, OkCupid is known for its decision to let all users to choose their pronouns. In June 2020, the site introduced a Black Lives Matter badge for your profile.
Politics aren't the only compatibility factor here. OKCupid has in-depth user bios, but profile building isn't long or tedious at all. The questions are smart and dive into your dating style without being too mushy. You'll even get to see the percentage of how much you have in common with other daters based on the questions you both answer. It's an algorithm that OKC has been perfecting and evolving since their launch in 2004.
High success rate speaks for itself • Questionnaire makes you think about what you need to work on • Super user-friendly
Historically not super friendly to LGBTQ+ • No support for non-binary users
If you're dying to find the one and settle down ASAP, eharmony's proven success is so worth the premium cost.
eharmony
Casual daters will feel smothered, but eharmony has made serious changes to appeal to marriage-minded millennials.- Free version: Yes
- Three months: $54.95/month
- Six months: $36.95/month
- One year: $22.95/month
Ever see a commercial for eharmony and wonder if a dating site that corny actually works? Weirdly enough, it does. A spokesperson for the site says it's been used by 54 million people, and is apparently responsible for 4 percent of U.S. marriages. That doesn't mean you're going to walk down the aisle within the first year, but it at least narrows your options to singles who are open to being exclusive, meeting the family, or moving in together.
What was once a doozy of a sign-up process is now short, sweet, and free of the corny, religious questions that held it back from being a top choice for the younger crowd. The comprehensive questionnaire now covers 32 dimensions (up from 29) of what makes a happy relationship. Instead of blatantly asking if you get mad easily or if you're emotionally stable, eharmony may ask how you handle apologizing after a fight or if a certain action would piss you off. These hypotheticals draw more natural responses, and a few other fun ones are thrown in to cover surface-level basics like hobbies, too. Everything is displayed on profiles that look like a fancy résumé designed by a graphic designer.
It's not the deep dive into your emotions like it was a few years ago, but eharmony is still so confident in its matchmaking skills that you'll get three months for free if you don't find a boo within the first three months.
It should be noted that eharmony hasn't always been a welcoming place to members of the LGBTQ+ community. Following a 2010 lawsuit, their gay and lesbian spin-off site Compatibility Partners has been folded into eharmony's overall site, but users on Reddit as recently as 2019 say that it still seems geared more toward straight people.
What was once a doozy of a sign-up process is now short, sweet, and free of the corny, religious questions that held it back from being a top choice for the younger crowd. The comprehensive questionnaire now covers 32 dimensions (up from 29) of what makes a happy relationship. Instead of blatantly asking if you get mad easily or if you're emotionally stable, eharmony may ask how you handle apologizing after a fight or if a certain action would piss you off. These hypotheticals draw more natural responses, and a few other fun ones are thrown in to cover surface-level basics like hobbies, too. Everything is displayed on profiles that look like a fancy résumé designed by a graphic designer.
It's not the deep dive into your emotions like it was a few years ago, but eharmony is still so confident in its matchmaking skills that you'll get three months for free if you don't find a boo within the first three months.
It should be noted that eharmony hasn't always been a welcoming place to members of the LGBTQ+ community. Following a 2010 lawsuit, their gay and lesbian spin-off site Compatibility Partners has been folded into eharmony's overall site, but users on Reddit as recently as 2019 say that it still seems geared more toward straight people.
Rapidly-growing user base • High statistics for second dates • One of the first swiping apps to actually use an algorithm • Informative bios with unique criteria like stance on weed • Inclusive selection of gender identities and pronouns
Filtering by height no longer a free feature • Have to pay for unlimited matches
A trendy, more serious Tinder alternative, Hinge wants to find you a relationship so you can delete the app all together.
Hinge
Millennials finally have an algorithm-oriented swiping app that's less "Wanna bang?" than Tinder.- Free version: Yes
- One month: $9.99/month
- Three months: $6.99/month
- Six months: $4.99/month
Young people looking to at least go on a few dates with the same person instead of everything turning into a friends with benefits situation was a major blind spot for dating sites — until Hinge blew up. The premise and user base might be in the same realm as apps like Tinder and Bumble, but Hinge's unique profile criteria and algorithms based on that criteria set the scene for matches with real-life, long-term potential.
Despite the fact that we're actively seeking out new dating apps and feel a rush every time a cute contender swipes right back, no one looking for something serious wants to be on these. The whole point of online dating is to find your person so you can stop looking for your person. That's the whole idea behind Hinge's 2019 rebrand to "the dating app designed to be deleted." But catchy slogans mean nothing without real-world success. Thankfully, these offer a vote of confidence for anyone who's skeptical about whether dating behind a screen can actually foster serious connections IRL. Beta trials of a feature called "We met" asked Hinge users how the first date went. Some 90% said the first date was great and 72% said they'd be down for a second date.
There's a common understanding among users that Hinge isn't just for sex, but there's no pressure to rush into a relationship either. Instead of extensive cheesy questionnaires and spam emails about the 50 winks you were sent, Hinge uses your personal prompts, ethnicity, religion, education, and more to find you anywhere from five to 15 matches per day. Prompts range from "The most spontaneous thing I've ever done" to "Two truths and a lie." Seems like a good recipe for a first convo that's not about sex, right?
Despite the fact that we're actively seeking out new dating apps and feel a rush every time a cute contender swipes right back, no one looking for something serious wants to be on these. The whole point of online dating is to find your person so you can stop looking for your person. That's the whole idea behind Hinge's 2019 rebrand to "the dating app designed to be deleted." But catchy slogans mean nothing without real-world success. Thankfully, these offer a vote of confidence for anyone who's skeptical about whether dating behind a screen can actually foster serious connections IRL. Beta trials of a feature called "We met" asked Hinge users how the first date went. Some 90% said the first date was great and 72% said they'd be down for a second date.
There's a common understanding among users that Hinge isn't just for sex, but there's no pressure to rush into a relationship either. Instead of extensive cheesy questionnaires and spam emails about the 50 winks you were sent, Hinge uses your personal prompts, ethnicity, religion, education, and more to find you anywhere from five to 15 matches per day. Prompts range from "The most spontaneous thing I've ever done" to "Two truths and a lie." Seems like a good recipe for a first convo that's not about sex, right?
High price weeds out people who don't take dating seriously • Low chance of getting catfished • Recent update makes questionnaire more fun
Distance filter starts at 50 miles • Might get suggestions that don't match your filters • No way to verify if people actually have a certain degree or job • No support for non-binary users
A place to speak your love language *and* money language that's littered with matches who live too far away.
EliteSingles
What could be a niche paradise for career-oriented singles is dampened by an algorithm that doesn't always listen.- Free version: Yes
- Three months: $37.95/month
- Six months: $21.95/month
- One year: $19.95/month
It only takes dating one person with completely different professional goals or spending habits to make you realize that a relationship can't stay afloat on romance alone. For those unwilling to budge when it comes to their partner's educational values and passion for success, EliteSingles attempts to offer a more established pool than the wide nets that its competitors cast.
The site's claim to fame is that 82% of their members are college grads and most of the user base is between the age of 33-50, so rest assured that fresh college grads who still want to let loose in their twenties will be few and far between. Instead, this is the place for driven folks who focused on their education and a career before romance — and, now that they've hit a comfortable stride professionally, they're pursuing a partner who's at the same point in their life. The sturdy subscription price (which has been lowered in recent years) is another giveaway that EliteSingles targeted folks with a disposable income who are seeking someone with an equally-mature lifestyle.
Some 29 different personality traits are decoded using the site's questionnaire to suggest matches who not only have an income compatible with yours, but whom you'd mesh with based on communication styles, ideal first dates (like a concert versus a wine tasting), and whether you're one to make the first move. Preferences on smoking, drinking, and kids can also be marked, setting parameters that can avoid lifestyle disagreements in the future. If you signed up for EliteSingles years ago, this is not the awkward self-ranking test about sexiness and selfishness that you took before.
EliteSingles has good bones, and if done right, could be a niche haven for successful singles. However, the snooty approach and mixed online reviews make it hard to be confident in the quality of matchmaking. Past users report a feed full of people who live way further away than they indicated in their preferences, and, unfortunately, it's hard for EliteSingles (or any dating website) to stop people from lying about their job or income. However, a manual verification system keeps complaints about scam profiles at bay.
The site's claim to fame is that 82% of their members are college grads and most of the user base is between the age of 33-50, so rest assured that fresh college grads who still want to let loose in their twenties will be few and far between. Instead, this is the place for driven folks who focused on their education and a career before romance — and, now that they've hit a comfortable stride professionally, they're pursuing a partner who's at the same point in their life. The sturdy subscription price (which has been lowered in recent years) is another giveaway that EliteSingles targeted folks with a disposable income who are seeking someone with an equally-mature lifestyle.
Some 29 different personality traits are decoded using the site's questionnaire to suggest matches who not only have an income compatible with yours, but whom you'd mesh with based on communication styles, ideal first dates (like a concert versus a wine tasting), and whether you're one to make the first move. Preferences on smoking, drinking, and kids can also be marked, setting parameters that can avoid lifestyle disagreements in the future. If you signed up for EliteSingles years ago, this is not the awkward self-ranking test about sexiness and selfishness that you took before.
EliteSingles has good bones, and if done right, could be a niche haven for successful singles. However, the snooty approach and mixed online reviews make it hard to be confident in the quality of matchmaking. Past users report a feed full of people who live way further away than they indicated in their preferences, and, unfortunately, it's hard for EliteSingles (or any dating website) to stop people from lying about their job or income. However, a manual verification system keeps complaints about scam profiles at bay.
Clear and easy to navigate • Made for older people who want to meet older people without fishing through eharmony
The site doesn't reveal premium prices until you sign up • Expensive • No support for non-binary users
SilverSingles is a good option for those with limited internet experience who only want to meet people their age.
SilverSingles
Instead of fishing through eharmony's age filters, SilverSingles is dedicated to finding romance later in life.- Free version: Yes
- Three months: $44.95/month
- Six months: $34.95/month
- One year: $24.95/month
Dating over 50 means that, more than likely, this is your second or third attempt at love. When Match or eharmony's user bases still pose too much of a never-married-with-no-kids crowd, SilverSingles is here to let you know that putting yourself back out there doesn't have to be scary.
You're not alone: 50% of marriages in the US end in divorce. It's no surprise that many men and women are finding themselves in the online dating world during their golden years. Because SilverSingles wants to ensure that your next relationship is your happily ever after, the sign-up process and questionnaires will take a good bit of time to asses the type of partner you are. The site will use your info to send you five of its best matches per day.
A sister site to EliteSingles, SilverSingles uses the same intense compatibility system that EliteSingles does, bringing in the popular big five personality traits to assess five levels of your being: openness to experience, conscientiousness, extraversion, agreeableness, and neuroticism. If you've heard of Senior Singles Meet in the past, SilverSingles is that same site with a rebrand — so they've actually been working on mastering the five factor model in tandem with senior dating for about two decades.
If you were worried about online dating because of the whole "technology" thing, don't worry. The site is easy to navigate and clearly lays out the path to a premium membership, which will get you unlimited messaging with matches among other convenient features. Creeps are weeded out by a high-end verification process and you can report any user who's acting suspicious or inappropriate.
You're not alone: 50% of marriages in the US end in divorce. It's no surprise that many men and women are finding themselves in the online dating world during their golden years. Because SilverSingles wants to ensure that your next relationship is your happily ever after, the sign-up process and questionnaires will take a good bit of time to asses the type of partner you are. The site will use your info to send you five of its best matches per day.
A sister site to EliteSingles, SilverSingles uses the same intense compatibility system that EliteSingles does, bringing in the popular big five personality traits to assess five levels of your being: openness to experience, conscientiousness, extraversion, agreeableness, and neuroticism. If you've heard of Senior Singles Meet in the past, SilverSingles is that same site with a rebrand — so they've actually been working on mastering the five factor model in tandem with senior dating for about two decades.
If you were worried about online dating because of the whole "technology" thing, don't worry. The site is easy to navigate and clearly lays out the path to a premium membership, which will get you unlimited messaging with matches among other convenient features. Creeps are weeded out by a high-end verification process and you can report any user who's acting suspicious or inappropriate.
Chance to get involved in local queer events • Facebook verification confirms that the girls are actually girls • Special place in bio for sexuality and pronouns • Four million users and growing quickly
Not as successful in small towns • Full of users complaining about being single • Only shows matches based on age and location • Occasional biphobia
HER is a rapidly-growing safe space for queer women to make meaningful connections, but there's no real algorithm.
HER
A queer-women-only app that connects you with girls who *aren't* straight women looking for a threesome with their boyfriend. Between creepy men pretending to be women and straight girls looking for a threesome with their boyfriend, most heteronormative dating sites don't give lesbians or bi women a great shot at finding a relationship. HER, an award-winning app made for queer women by queer women, is the perfect place to go if you're tired of the only lesbian you know being your ex girlfriend.
The app that wants to "introduce you to every lesbian you've ever wanted to meet" is growing rapidly: HER has ballooned to 4.5 million users since its rebrand in 2015, and according to Statista, that's pretty damn close to what Bumble is working with — and they're ALL. WOMEN. If you tried HER a few years ago and were discouraged by swiping through the same people, your experience will be much different this time around.
In summer 2019, HER revamped its minimalistic profiles to let users get more creative in categories like gender, sexuality pronouns, diet preferences, and star signs, as well as a "What does this mean?" field in the sex, gender, and pronoun categories to create more well-rounded understanding of identity. There's also a space for a text bio where you can showcase your sense of humor or describe what type of relationship you're looking for.
The lack of any real science behind the matches past age and location is a bummer, but unlike Tinder, this doesn't mean you'll be suffocated with a hookup vibe. Searching #wemetonHER on Instagram should be all the beautiful, adorable success story proof that you need.
The app that wants to "introduce you to every lesbian you've ever wanted to meet" is growing rapidly: HER has ballooned to 4.5 million users since its rebrand in 2015, and according to Statista, that's pretty damn close to what Bumble is working with — and they're ALL. WOMEN. If you tried HER a few years ago and were discouraged by swiping through the same people, your experience will be much different this time around.
In summer 2019, HER revamped its minimalistic profiles to let users get more creative in categories like gender, sexuality pronouns, diet preferences, and star signs, as well as a "What does this mean?" field in the sex, gender, and pronoun categories to create more well-rounded understanding of identity. There's also a space for a text bio where you can showcase your sense of humor or describe what type of relationship you're looking for.
The lack of any real science behind the matches past age and location is a bummer, but unlike Tinder, this doesn't mean you'll be suffocated with a hookup vibe. Searching #wemetonHER on Instagram should be all the beautiful, adorable success story proof that you need.
Safer space than Grindr • Can find platonic friends with Bumble BFF • Advanced filters align you with people you'd mesh with for the long haul • bumble age demographic more welcoming to older folks than tinder • Good amount of gender identity and orientation options
Can't compete with Grindr's user base
Bumble's matchmaking is more intricate than most swiping apps and is a great spot for singles who miss Chappy.
Bumble
Bumble has acquired Chappy and is aiming to create a safe space for LGBTQ+ users looking for love.- Free version: Yes
- Weekly: $10.99/week
- Monthly: $24.99/month
- Three months: $18.33/month
With a whole decade of being the under its belt, Grindr is likely the first gay dating app that a lot of men download. But if you're looking for a relationship, it's probably not the last. That's where Bumble comes in: parent company Magic Labs noticed that there was a spot to be filled for gay men who wanted something more than that intimidating, dick pic-filled atmosphere.
In early 2020, Chappy, a beloved safe space for gay men who weren't ready to be thrown to the wolves of Grindr or Scruff, announced that it would be joining forces with Bumble. (All user profiles on Chappy were transferred to Bumble's database.) assured that both apps share a goal to create a sense of belonging for users regardless of their identity, and that the consolidation into Bumble's "already thriving LGBTQ+ user base would provide the best long-term experience."
Bumble BFF is similar to Chappy's friend mode, which let users scope out friendships without feelings getting involved. Unfortunately, Chappy's sliding scale that lets you signify whether you were looking for a hookup or for a relationship didn't cross over to Bumble. However, if you're tired of getting left on "delivered" on Tinder, Bumble's 24-hour rule could help weed out people who aren't putting much effort into online dating.
Despite a zippy sign-up, Bumble provides more targeted matchmaking than you'd expect on a swiping app by gathering intel that could determine how serious things get with a new person. With the Advanced Filters on Bumble Boost, you can filter matches based on their star sign, whether they want kids, whether they smoke or exercise, and so on. The GuySexual's review of Bumble back up the idea that Bumble isn't hookup-centric: Bumble got a 4 out of 10 on hookup-ability and a 9 out of 10 on compatibility — a good sign for finding a date that might want to take things somewhere other than their bed.
In early 2020, Chappy, a beloved safe space for gay men who weren't ready to be thrown to the wolves of Grindr or Scruff, announced that it would be joining forces with Bumble. (All user profiles on Chappy were transferred to Bumble's database.) assured that both apps share a goal to create a sense of belonging for users regardless of their identity, and that the consolidation into Bumble's "already thriving LGBTQ+ user base would provide the best long-term experience."
Bumble BFF is similar to Chappy's friend mode, which let users scope out friendships without feelings getting involved. Unfortunately, Chappy's sliding scale that lets you signify whether you were looking for a hookup or for a relationship didn't cross over to Bumble. However, if you're tired of getting left on "delivered" on Tinder, Bumble's 24-hour rule could help weed out people who aren't putting much effort into online dating.
Despite a zippy sign-up, Bumble provides more targeted matchmaking than you'd expect on a swiping app by gathering intel that could determine how serious things get with a new person. With the Advanced Filters on Bumble Boost, you can filter matches based on their star sign, whether they want kids, whether they smoke or exercise, and so on. The GuySexual's review of Bumble back up the idea that Bumble isn't hookup-centric: Bumble got a 4 out of 10 on hookup-ability and a 9 out of 10 on compatibility — a good sign for finding a date that might want to take things somewhere other than their bed.
No messages from people you haven't liked back • Less judgement over the perfect profile picture • Premium perks can be earned just by using the app • Can get a lot of real dates out of it
Somewhat empty user base, especially in small towns • App has a lot of bugs • Paid version is too expensive for bland features • No support for non-binary users
This small user base allows CMB to find a handful of highly-compatible matches while you get on with your day.
Coffee Meets Bagel
Feeling rusty? CMB gets things rolling by sending ice breakers and encouraging parties to plan a date within a week of matching.- Free version: Yes
- One month: $34.99
- Three months: $24.99/month
- Six months: $19.99/month
- One year: $14.99/month
Grabbing coffee is the low-pressure date idea that lets you skip trying to choose a dressy-but-not-too-extra outfit for a concert or a restaurant. Coffee Meets Bagel is like the "grabbing coffee" version of dating apps, aiming to bring an easy-going atmosphere to folks who might just be a little rusty. (It's actually one of the few dating apps that doesn't get completely roasted on Reddit, and threads about the app are full of promising success stories about how that Redditor or someone they know met their person on CMB.)
Millions of active users is usually a plus. It is nice to know that your options are virtually limitless, but it's a bit jarring to have 20 new messages to read every time you sign on. This happens on sites like eharmony and Tinder alike — people want connection, and they want it NOW. CMB's slow and steady approach is great for singles who are out of practice, introverted, or who simply don't feel like scrolling every time they have a free minute.
Each day, CMB offers seven of its best matches (bagels) for you, chosen by your answers to prompts, how you swiped on yesterday's batch, and who has already expressed interest in you, too. Your bagels are limited regardless of if you upgrade to a paid account, which doesn't offer much past a higher allowance of daily likes.
CMB encourages users to get the ball rolling by only keeping your match for seven days. It's less pressure than Bumble's 24-hour time limit, but still eliminates a list full of matches who don't care enough to plan a meet-up. Plus, not being bombarded with available hotties 24/7 gives you more time to contemplate whether you genuinely want to get to know someone or if you're just messaging them because you're bored. If you're tired of dating sites full of people who don't respond, CMB could be your best bet to find people who are open and ready to meet.
Millions of active users is usually a plus. It is nice to know that your options are virtually limitless, but it's a bit jarring to have 20 new messages to read every time you sign on. This happens on sites like eharmony and Tinder alike — people want connection, and they want it NOW. CMB's slow and steady approach is great for singles who are out of practice, introverted, or who simply don't feel like scrolling every time they have a free minute.
Each day, CMB offers seven of its best matches (bagels) for you, chosen by your answers to prompts, how you swiped on yesterday's batch, and who has already expressed interest in you, too. Your bagels are limited regardless of if you upgrade to a paid account, which doesn't offer much past a higher allowance of daily likes.
CMB encourages users to get the ball rolling by only keeping your match for seven days. It's less pressure than Bumble's 24-hour time limit, but still eliminates a list full of matches who don't care enough to plan a meet-up. Plus, not being bombarded with available hotties 24/7 gives you more time to contemplate whether you genuinely want to get to know someone or if you're just messaging them because you're bored. If you're tired of dating sites full of people who don't respond, CMB could be your best bet to find people who are open and ready to meet.
Dating sites that are better for booty calls post-breakup
So things didn't work out with the person you thought you'd be with forever? Give yourself some space to heal before looking for love again — but by all means, do the hooking up that you couldn't do while you were in a relationship.
Pick your poison: Lack of an algorithm, lack of bios with any meaningful information, or lack of users who care what your face looks like as long as they have more explicit photos. These are the dating sites to steer clear of if you're tired of people who only want sex.
Easy, mindless, and instantaneous • Massive active user base, even in small towns • Extra fun while you're traveling • Many people will let you know what they're looking for in their bio • Gender identity inclusive
Next-to-no filters • No matching based on emotions or life goals • Pretty much have to swipe through everyone nearby • Many users are just looking to date causally
It's fun to have Tinder in your back pocket, but finding someone looking to settle down could take a while.
Tinder
The OG swiping app where you'll find everyone you know, a ton who you don't know, and a date in under 10 minutes.- Free version: Yes
- One month: $14.99
- Six months: $9.99/month
- One year: $6.67/month
Let's just get this one out of the way. If you're thinking of dating apps, you're thinking of Tinder. They pioneered the now-ubiquitous swiping function, revolutionizing the world of online dating and boasting 1.6 billion swipes per day. What started out as a niche hookup app has turned into a wingman that most of us have used at least once in our life. As you're served a series of photos, swipe right if you like what you see and left if you don't. When you both indicate interest in each other, you'll get a notification that it's a match. I mean, "Tindering" is just as much of a verb as swiping at this point.
Tinder may not want to advertise as such, but we all know what it's mostly used for. You're quite literally deciding if you want to interact with someone based on nothing but profile pictures and a quote from The Office, so yeah, you can see how getting laid would be the main goal of most users — but hey, we all know those couples who met on Tinder and have been together for years. It's fast, easy, and if there's one app that even the shyest, most skeptical people will be on, it's Tinder. Hell, even celebrities can now have verified profiles on there (meaning yes, you could match with one of the if you're really lucky). You may get carpal tunnel syndrome from swiping so much, but I guess that also means that it's nearly impossible to not find someone who's DTF.
Tinder is famously free, but less people know about the paid options: . These like undoing a left swipe (bless), send "Super Likes" to people you're really into, and in the case of Tinder Gold, see which users have liked your profile.
Tinder may not want to advertise as such, but we all know what it's mostly used for. You're quite literally deciding if you want to interact with someone based on nothing but profile pictures and a quote from The Office, so yeah, you can see how getting laid would be the main goal of most users — but hey, we all know those couples who met on Tinder and have been together for years. It's fast, easy, and if there's one app that even the shyest, most skeptical people will be on, it's Tinder. Hell, even celebrities can now have verified profiles on there (meaning yes, you could match with one of the if you're really lucky). You may get carpal tunnel syndrome from swiping so much, but I guess that also means that it's nearly impossible to not find someone who's DTF.
Tinder is famously free, but less people know about the paid options: . These like undoing a left swipe (bless), send "Super Likes" to people you're really into, and in the case of Tinder Gold, see which users have liked your profile.
Massive user base (in the U.S. and globally) • Chemistry questionnaires are actually decent • LGBTQ+ and polygamy friendly • Tons of ways to interact
Desktop version and app are buggy and outdated • Entire site looks like a virus-ridden porn ad • Best features get pricey
If you can get past the fact that it looks like an ad for a deserted strip club, you won't leave unsatisfied.
AdultFriendFinder
Millions of down-for-anything users make AFF great for finding a fling, but it's as sketchy as it is sexy.- Free version: Yes
- One month: $39.95
- Three months: $26.95/month
- One year: $19.95/month
AdultFriendFinder is our pick for the best hookup site, and that's because it's literally impossible to walk away unsatisfied. Though a lot of young people use Tinder to find casual sex, AFF is more... mature — like a Pornhub that you can actually interact with. Regardless of whether you're looking for an in-person hookup or to blow off some steam via sexting or raunchy videos, AFF has everything that your dirty mind can think of and more. Almost nothing is blurred out (you see everything), but if you don't mind that the entire thing looks like a sketchy "There are hot singles in your area" ad, you'll be in heaven.
With 20-something million monthly users as well as live video options, chat rooms, groups for ultra specific kinks, and more, you can probably assume how wild this site can get. But there's such a large and diverse group of potential matches, you're very likely to find other like-minded people, which does wonders when all you want to do is connect with someone who's on the same page as you. The part that you wouldn't expect is the fact that they do offer tons of compatibility questions and matchmaking services, because they're that intent on finding you a good lay.
Another bonus is that is like the dating site version of New York City — it never sleeps. You'll find people who work the regular 9-5, people who work the night shift, and people in other time zones, so it's nearly impossible to log on and not have people to talk to. AdultFriendFinder is like the booty call that's always awake when you text them.
With 20-something million monthly users as well as live video options, chat rooms, groups for ultra specific kinks, and more, you can probably assume how wild this site can get. But there's such a large and diverse group of potential matches, you're very likely to find other like-minded people, which does wonders when all you want to do is connect with someone who's on the same page as you. The part that you wouldn't expect is the fact that they do offer tons of compatibility questions and matchmaking services, because they're that intent on finding you a good lay.
Another bonus is that is like the dating site version of New York City — it never sleeps. You'll find people who work the regular 9-5, people who work the night shift, and people in other time zones, so it's nearly impossible to log on and not have people to talk to. AdultFriendFinder is like the booty call that's always awake when you text them.
Image: Vicky leta/ Mashable
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