YOU KNOW YOUR DATING A COLOMBIAN WOMAN

This is a guest post by Steve Dillon, Blogger of Other Way Around (find out more about Steve down below)

Back in March 2017, about 8 years after we first met, I married my now Colombian wife Marcela in her home city of Medellin, Colombia. It was an incredible day and yet one I could never have imagined years earlier.

You see I’m from Scotland, UK and growing up we didn’t really have much exposure to Latin people or culture. And even when I first moved to London, which is a huge melting pot of people from all around the world, I still didn’t really know anyone from Latin America, let alone Colombia.

Until of course one day, I met Marcela! After completing her studies in Medellin, Marcela had moved to London to study English and when by chance one day we met, we hit if off instantly. In terms of people and culture our countries couldn’t be any further apart and so there have definitely been some (often hilarious) cultural learnings on both sides along the way.

Here I’m going to share with you my top 10 personal insights gained through dating a Colombian woman!

But first…

Are all Colombian Women like Sofia?

Now, I know it’s a massive play on stereotypes here, and possibly a lot of Colombian women won’t like the comparison (or maybe they will), but I personally think the character played by Sofia Vergara in Modern Family is a brilliant representation of what it’s like to live with a colombiana. Even if it is an exaggerated version.

They’re passionate, loving, thoughtful, caring, loud, energetic, sensitive, loyal… and you really don’t want to get on their wrong side!

Do they all look like Sofia? No… some of them also look like Shakira!

So, on that note, here are 10 things I’ve learned from dating a Colombian woman.

1 – They’re a feisty bunch

We still have something at home which we refer to as the ‘toast incident’. It happened years ago, when we were still in the early days of dating, and Marcela very kindly made me a cup of tea and some toast (yes, I’m very British)! I rather lightheartedly, at least in my eyes, made a comment about the toast not being up to my usual standards and I duly ended up with that same piece of toast rammed into my mouth.

Whatever happened to that sweet, delicate Colombian I thought. I learned two valuable lessons that day. Don’t assume everyone will get your bad banter, especially those from different countries; and secondly, never piss off a colombiana!

2 – They’re affectionate

Be aware – Public Displays of Affection (PDAs) are never off the table! We Brits, and especially us Scots, we’re a fairly reserved bunch when it comes to showing our emotions. Stiff upper lip and all that. And I think I personally fall towards the more extreme end of that scale. At least I did up until I met Marcela (who for a Colombian is actually quite reserved on this front).

But, if you’re not a big one for holding hands, or having a cheeky kiss and cuddle in public – whether in the street, on the train, or even at your office – then you either better get ready to embrace the change, or start to looking elsewhere!

3 – Goodbyes will never be the same

If you’re going to date a Colombian woman, then you’re probably going to spend a lot more time with other Colombians, meaning that you will have to learn how to say hello and goodbye properly.

It goes a little something like this. Walk into a room / bar / restaurant full of family and friends and go around and give everyone a hug and kiss individually (yes, even the ones you don’t know). Not a handshake in sight. That doesn’t seem too bad right?

Now to the fun part – goodbyes! Do the same hug / kiss routine as before but at that point don’t leave. That would be silly right? Instead, stay talking for another 10-15 minutes before starting the same cycle of goodbyes all over again.

Then rinse and repeat another few times before finally making a move. Moral of the story – you better get comfortable with hugging and kissing people you know and people you don’t.

4 – They’ll make you cry

In a good way. Not me of course – I’m way too tough for that! But if you’re the sensitive sort, then be prepared. Specifically I’m referring to when my wife Marcela writes a birthday or christmas card to my family.

After years of receiving “Happy Birthday Mum, From Steven” (yes it’s true, I suck at writing cards) it was very unexpected when Mum received her first card from Marcela – all very beautifully written and full of love and emotion. It moved my Mum to tears as she’s never received anything quite like that before.

5 – You had better learn how to dance

Unless you’re happy to send your partner off dancing with some other guy that is! Because, no matter what, they’re going dancing. It’s in their blood, it’s what they do, music and dancing is all around in Colombia and a massive part of the culture. In the bars, in the clubs, in the streets, by your table at a restaurant. It’s everywhere.

And you can’t really get away with rocking some dad moves from back home (believe me, I’ve tried). Go learn some basic Salsa steps, or pick one of the many other genres, and give it a go. You might (and probably will) find out that you really enjoy it.

6 – They’re ridiculously proud

I always thought we Scots were maybe the proudest country in the world, until I started dating a Colombian woman. And not just any Colombian woman, but a paisa! (Incidentally, I used that exact same line in my wedding speech – in Spanish of course – and it went down a storm)!

But it’s true, the Colombians are hugely proud people with a fierce sense of identity and a deep love of their land.

When you meet any Colombian woman you’ll get a sense of this almost instantly and when you start to learn more about their country you will quickly understand why.

7 – Family is massively important

What has always struck me about Colombia is that the extended family seems every bit as important as the immediate family, and everyone is always looking out for each other (or maybe I just walked into a really good family)!

When I first met Marcela she talked so in depth about not only her parents and brother but also about her grandparents, aunties, uncles and cousins. Therefore, when I arrived in Colombia and finally met them, I felt like I already knew almost each and every one of them (and it’s a big family).

Two incidents really stick out in my mind. The first time I arrived in Colombia with Marcela we arrived to a big crowd of around 20 family members waiting to greet us which was an incredible welcome.

The second was one time when I was sick. Nothing major, a stomach virus I think, where I just needed a few days to sleep it off. But what really amazed me was that all of the aunties and uncles were calling to ask on me or dropping by to check on me which seemed incredibly caring for something so minor (in truth I was a bit embarrassed by the fuss).

Those incidents really hit home to me how important family is for Colombians and it’s one of the things I love most about Colombia.

8 – You’ll spend your life seeking out Colombian food

One thing I’ve learned about virtually every Colombian I’ve met is that they absolutely love their Colombian food. We’ve spent large parts of our relationship living overseas – in London and in Washington DC – and if you ever find yourself in a similar position you will no doubt, like me, spend much of your time seeking out where you can actually source Colombian products (hint: it’s usually not in the most convenient places).

But it’s definitely always worth it to get your hands on some of those arepas, pan de queso, bocadillos and Ducales. Mmmmm.

9 – You better start learning Spanish

There’s no way around this really (believe me, I tried with great pain). If you really want to date a Colombian woman, and you actually see a future in it, then start learning Spanish NOW!

Even if she speaks great English, chances are most of her family won’t which – although seems like the perfect opportunity to crack a joke about how you’d rather not speak to the in-laws – will leave you unable to communicate with some very important people in your life. Which, well, just kind of sucks.

Been there, done it, strongly advise others to not follow my path! So go book those Spanish lessons.

10 – Things can get noisy

One colombiana talking (not sure why but especially on the phone) gets noisy.

A group of colombianas together, be prepared my friends, things are going to get loud!

We have this ongoing debate at home when Marcela is calling her family and I’m watching TV where I politely suggest that the phone call moves the bedroom (and of course I’m ever so polite about it).

For me, this seems like the most obvious solution (because like I say – things get loud) but for Marcela it feels like she’s being banished!

Classic case of cultural differences. Likewise, when we’re in Washington DC we’ll often go to dinner with a group of Colombian friends and without exaggeration we will be BY FAR the loudest table in the restaurant.

And that’s in the USA where, let’s face it, the locals are not exactly timid.

Should You Do It?

There you have it, that’s my take on dating a Colombian woman (for those of you who actually got past the “all colombianas are like Sofia Vergara” part). Not sure whether I’ve encouraged you to run a mile or to dive right in (that’s an expression btw) but I hope it has helped anyone who was curious.

It goes without saying (but hey I’ll say it anyway) that this is my (rather tongue in cheek) experience based on 1 colombiana and doesn’t speak for an entire nation.

And of course everything is entirely relative to my starting point of coming from a significantly less outwardly emotional culture.

But I will say this. Dating this specific Colombian woman has helped me grow immensely as a person and turned me into a hand-holding, salsa dancing, arepa loving Scotsman. And there’s not too many of those around.

This guest blog post was written by Steve Dillon, Co-Founder of Other Way Round, a culturally immersive travel group which brings together small groups of like-minded travelers and shares with them an off the beaten track, adventurous, insider experience of traveling through Colombia. Steve started Other Way Round with his Colombian wife Marcela and their mission is to help show the world the real and authentic Colombia, while also using their tour group to help drive positive change in Colombia. They currently offer 3 trips including 1 Week in Medellin, 8 Days in Cartagena and Bogotá and a Colombia All-In-One tour.