I suck at writing good dating app bios

As much as some folks hate taking photos, there are just as many people who hate to write or talk about themselves. Dating profiles are definitely photo-centric but you cannot let bios and about me sections go to waste. As an online dating photographer, I have helped folks craft their online identity through photos and words. A good bio may not make up for bad photos but a good bio can be that make or break point in your profile. 

But Aren’t Photos All That Matter on Dating Apps?

So you downloaded the dating app, uploaded a few photos and synced your Facebook, LinkedIn, Spotify and Instagram accounts to populate your location, hometown, age, height, favorite band, company name and title. That was easy, wasn’t it? Not so fast.

While it’s true that most people only review the main profile photo when doing a first pass on profiles and also true photos account for 90%+ of the decision-making process on whether to swipe left or right, bios, prompts and answers to prompts should not be ignored.

Online dating profile bios are an essential piece of the puzzle to have in your online dating toolkit. While bios and answers will not make up for bad, unflattering selfies and ambiguous group shots, they can provide some insight, confidence and context that photos do not always convey. 

Short bios and joke answers can signal immaturity, insincerity or lacking emotional vulnerability. These are often categorized as lazy, low effort profiles.  Read this post to learn more about red flags on dating profiles.

What Should I Write In My Dating Profile?

About us section of dating apps provide a creative outlet to write about yourself, observations about topics of the hour, ambitions, guilty pleasures, wittiness and obsessions. They also help to reveal intentions by showing how much thought and effort you put into marketing yourself. Thin profiles and using synced data only will make it difficult for people to take you seriously.

Bios or About Me sections should fill in the holes that you can do so via prompts as seen in Bumble and Hinge. They should be succinct, insightful, anecdotal and complement your photos and photo captions.

Avoid Resume Like Dating Profiles

A bio should not read like a resume, it should complement your photos and not be summary of your LinkedIn profile. Adding places lived, favorite TV show, and favorite dish are good starts but you still need some dimension, life in your bios. 

Similarly, a list of adjectives can be biased, possibly inaccurate and impossible to invalidate online. It’s not any better if you frame the list of qualities through a third person: “My friends say I am caring, thoughtful, loving” blah, blah, blah.

Friends can be biased, friends may not want to hurt your feelings and maybe your friends can’t be trusted – who knows? I call these characteristics empty adjectives. Many people have a hard time being honest about themselves (just look at your co-workers LinkedIn profile). Acting too coy or using joke prompts and answers lack vulnerability and can be seen as defensive behavior by others.

Dating Profile Headlines

These are typically used on sites like Match.com, OkCupid and POF where they are separate from longer, detailed bios and about me sections. These profile headlines can be cute, fun and random – movie and tv quotes are good (if done well). Avoid obvious ones from shows like the Office.

Do You Like Guacamole?

Use Details, Anecdotes, References – Dating Profile Templates

Cliche answers, bios are not only boring but often lack any insight. Ask me anything, open to new adventures, liking Netflix or hiking is extremely vague. Dig into types of hikes with favorite types of trails i.e. short scenic, remote locals only/hidden gems, particular regions, half-day hikes, post-hike activities.

A great bio should reveal anecdotal insights, passions, beliefs, curiosities, guilty pleasures, some embarrassing tidbits and priorities. Short examples that illustrate points are great.

Taking a stand vs. trying to be the most agreeable or interesting man in the world is preferred. No one wants an exact clone of themselves. Be original, be you. It’s easier to connect with someone through a distant, random or obscure reference than it is through something cliche and mainstream. Don’t be boring: brunch, the Office, Game of Thrones will not get you far (see how many boxes you check off in this online dating profile bingo card).

Nouns like hiker, traveler, foodie etc. offer no insight into frequency, prioritization or level of commitment. Are you a casual Land’s End hiker or are you a weekend warrior that does 3-4 hour hikes. Are you a beach resort traveler or do you like to immerse yourself in culture and languages with locals different from yourself?

Are you a superficial Instagram traveler or do you have some depth to your curiosity. Do you like safe chain restaurants, dives featured on No Reservations or posh Michelin rated restaurants. Be careful about vague descriptions in your profile. The more vague the less interesting you will sound.

Bios should not read like a novel, but they should have substance. A balance of flow, randomness, self-deprecating humor, insight is key for a good bio. Many folks strike out when it comes to bios. Don’t let that be you. 

Most people never seek unbiased feedback on their bios and profiles and the ones that do often times get biased feedback or have context into your bio and photos that a stranger does not. Friends, family members and co-workers may not want to be brutally honest with you or they might have some advantage that allows them more flexibility to get away with breaking guidelines for photos and bios.

Don’t Skip Photo Captions!

Apps like Hinge allow users to more easily humble brag or add details about themselves through photos by allowing for captions. Don’t ignore this free space. Prompts are great but can be limiting when compared to free-form bios so when possibly, take advantage of the opportunities to add details, prompts and opportunities for conversation starters through your photo captions.

Take Advantage of Prompts on Apps Like Hinge and Bumble

If you have a great story, reference or humble brag, see if you can share it using one of the prompts on these apps. These prompts are your best friend to help you set up an opportunity to talk about yourself without seeming as self-absorbed or randomly weird if referenced in a small bio. Prompts are added regularly so check back. Check out these posts for good prompts to use on Hinge as well as Bumble.

TLDR, How To Describe Yourself In A Dating Profile, Dating Sites

Avoid lists, empty adjectives that cannot be verified without time. Don’t say your friend wrote this or my friends think this. Use examples, anecdotes, references, passions, examples, details and curiosities

How To Improve Your Dating Profile

Now that you have the basics down for writing a bio, check out this guide to improve your bio and make sure you are not self-sabotaging your efforts.

For specific app related bio, profile questions for Hinge, Bumble and other apps, check out these blog posts: https://eddie-hernandez.com/category/dating-profile/

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Next read: How To Look More Attractive In Your Online Dating Photos

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About Eddie Hernandez 

Eddie Hernandez is a professional photographer specializing in natural, candid online dating photos. Featured in the SFGate, ABC7News, East Bay Express, Salon; contributor to Good Men Project, Plenty Of Fish and Meddle. In addition to photos, he provides guidance around app choice, bio optimization, messaging techniques, wardrobe advice and date ideas. https://eddie-hernandez.com/contact/

Dating Profile Critique

For those of you who are remote or virtual dating help and are looking for anonline dating profile critiqueyou can read more about my services here.

For other helpful online dating tipscheck out my blog for more helpful advice: https://eddie-hernandez.com/blog/

Online Dating Frequently Asked Questions(Photos, App Choice, Wardrobe, Messaging, Bios and More): https://eddie-hernandez.com/online-dating-frequently-asked-questions/