Dating apps and how to be alone

So you’re newly single and wondering how dating apps work? Well, dating apps are like virtual speed dating platforms that are open 24/7 and located in your pocket.

The last time you were single if you wanted to meet a fellow single person you had to shlep yourself and a pair of buddies down to the local pub. You were forced into face to face interactions that would end in biting rejection should they not go your way. This is old school.

The new school involves going digital.

Say goodbye to the days of being rejected publicly and IRL. Nowadays you can reject or accept women from the safety of your kitchen table, office, or toilet. It’s this convenience that has led to over 30% of Americans to use dating apps.

And no, if you’re thinking that dating apps are just for the young and uninhibited, you’re wrong. 38% of those ages 30-49 have at one point used a dating app, 16% of all people within this age bracket have married or entered into a committed relationship with someone they met online.

Like it or not online dating is now by far the most popular way to find a romantic partner.

Online dating apps are the most effective tool for newly single men. The only issue now is figuring out how to use them. That’s where I come in.

Best Apps To Use In 2020

There are over 1,500 dating apps and websites in the US alone. The online dating industry is a $3 billion industry. Companies are constantly coming up with new apps that compete for the attention of newly single men and women. With the flux of dating apps coming and going how do you know which app is right for you?

Apps vary almost nearly as much as the personalities of women you’ll meet on them.

There’s Hinge for example that will only connect you to friends of your Facebook friends, there’s the most feminist dating app, Bumble, which requires women to message first, and there’s JDate, which targets Jewish singles.

I can’t profile every single app on the market, so here are five dating apps that you should consider downloading this week.

Tinder

You’ve probably heard of Tinder -it’s the app used by lascivious college students right? Wrong… kinda. Sure, it caters to demographics younger than any of the other apps I’ll list, but it’s largely shook its seedy reputation of a hookup app.

Tinder’s the most popular dating app in the US. This seminal dating app gave other apps a blueprint to work from. Tinder is perfect for the young singles that don’t feel pressed to jump into a relationship. That being said, its prevalence around the nation makes it a must-download for any newly single male.

Bumble

Rarely does sexual harassment lead to anything positive, but in the case of Bumble, it does.

Co-founder of Tinder, Whitney Wolfe left the company a few years ago, citing sexual harassment as one of her reasons. She took the lessons learned from Tinder and used them to create the feminist version of Tinder, called Bumble.

The app’s interface is just about the same as Tinder (a point of contention still being dealt with in court). The main difference being that matches are lost after 24 hours if the female user doesn’t message first. Remember, in Bumble, females are required to message first. It’s this appeal as a feminist dating app that attracts strong female users.

This being the case, Bumble is thought to have a better female-male ratio than Tinder -though not by much.

Facebook Dating

Americans had to wait quite a bit for Facebook to finally launch its dating capability within the US.

After testing in 20 other countries, Facebook Dating finally kicked off in the US in September of 2019.

So what do we know about Facebook Dating? Well, not a whole lot. Facebook has been rather shy with releasing statistics about its users. What we do know is how FB Dating works.

FB Dating isn’t an app separate to FB, rather it can be found on the app or website. And no, just because you signed up for FB doesn’t mean you’re already enrolled in FB Dating. 

What makes FB so unique is that its algorithm factors in all the data it can extract from FB. It takes into account your likes, location, friends, interests, where you went to school, and more to put you on a collision course with compatible singles.

We still don’t know how many users FB Dating has, but considering that 7 in 10 Americans use Facebook, it’s safe to say that it’s only a matter of time before users flock to the new FB feature.

Coffee Meets Bagel

Despite its ambiguous name, Coffee Meets Bagel is in fact a dating app. Furthermore, this is one of the many issues that led the investors of Shark Tank to turn down the chance to invest in the once fledgling company. Despite some growing pains, Coffee Meets Bagel has become one of the leading dating apps in the US.

CMB is the only app to send you a curated list of 21 potential matches every day at noon. They rely on an algorithm that updates every time you either reject or accept potential matches or as CMB calls them, bagels. A Discover feature also allows you to browse users nearby as you would in Tinder and Bumble.

CMB is much more popular on the west than east coast. This region-heavy dating app is geared towards attracting users that are looking for long-term relationships.

Hinge

Hinge is the most unique dating app on the market, and also a favorite among my clients.

The app will only connect users with friends of your Facebook friends. Hinge founders leveraged the practice of meeting singles through friends and digitized it. Before dating apps, meeting your significant others through a mutual friend was the most popular way to find a partner.

With Hinge, users can like and comment on photos to indicate interest of another member. Hinge uses a modernized and romanticized version of the Gale-Shapley algorithm to connect you with compatible singles. The app’s also unique in that it bills itself as the “app that’s designed to be deleted.”

Whereas other dating apps seem more interested in addicting you than helping you find a mate, Hinge seems to make a genuine attempt at finding you a quality romantic partner. And it’s pretty affordable as well.

This app is perfect for users in their late 20s and early 30s.

How To Setup Your Profiles When You’re Newly Single

When it comes to sculpting a dating app profile, not all apps are the same.

Tinder for example only restricts the number of characters you write and the number of photos you post. Apps like Bumble and Hinge, however, don’t allow you to pen a bio from scratch, rather they request that you complete their answer prompts.

What’s most important when creating a dating profile for newly single men is that you offer the reader something to latch onto. Tell them about your hobbies, what your ideal first date is, where you’d like to travel to, etc. And of course, keeps things light and humorous.

Studies suggest that 70% of your profile illustrates your personality while 30% is dedicated to conveying what you’re looking for.

Another tip is to keep your profile short and sweet. Don’t just rattle off a list of likes and dislikes. Paint a picture of who you are in 3-6 lines. Leave her wanting more while still giving her enough to connect to.

Pro-tip: List your height in drop-down menus as the max height and then make a note that you are “7 feet tall in heels” or something to the effect in the about me section of your profile, or in a prompt response.

This way you’re not lying but you’re also not being hidden from the oodles of women that have their filters set to a 6 feet tall minimum. Women often filter for height just to reduce the number of matches they get and you don’t want to miss out because of a computer’s algorithm. Give her a chance to make up her own mind and enjoy a lot more matches than if you didn’t.

How To Select The Best Pictures

It doesn’t matter if one dating app targets Jewish singles and other dog-loving singles, there’s one thing that all dating apps have in common -their superficiality.

Look you could have John Green pen your bio but it won’t matter if your dating app photos are all selfies.

Here are some keys to keep in mind when picking assembling your photo roster:

• Smile/look amiable and look towards the camera

• Don’t wear hats or glasses that obscure your face

• Wear different clothing in each of your photos

• Post 4-7 photos. Too few and women won’t have enough information about you, too many and you’ll come off desperate

• Group shots are a must… just not as your first or second photo and make sure you’re the most attractive one of the bunch

• Show yourself doing a wide range of activities

• International travel photos always got love

• Show off your hobbies

• Dog photos are right swipe magnets (just don’t steal your friend’s dog)

• Don’t hide your kids. Show that you’re a proud father

• Keep the shirt on

• Let me reiterate… no selfies

Even if a photo meets the aforementioned criteria, it doesn’t mean that it’ll be well-received online. Poll your friends to see if a photo is worth posting.

If you’re afraid they’ll give the thumbs up to any old photo you throw their way, seek honest feedback from the Internet. No, not Reddit, but Photofeeler. Post a pic to Photofeeler and get feedback from real people. Only once a photo has been rated by more than 10 women and has received a rating of 8 or higher in a certain category is it permissible to post.

How To Answer Question Prompts

Show don’t tell.

Yes, it’s the advance your English teacher freshmen year gave you but it also applies to dating apps.

Instead of saying, “I like to travel,” rattle off some of the places you’ve been. Allow the reader to see and feel who you are. There’s enough guesswork involved in online dating. Realize that most apps reduce you to a card in a deck. The females that swipe left and right don’t see you as a unique individual but as another profile card in a card game.

Don’t just tell me you like Netflix (like everyone else on the planet) tell me what shows you’re currently watching.

Give her something to latch onto, something to connect to, something that will make you stand out and help you build rapport.

Also, be aware that many apps nowadays use algorithms that take into account bio keywords. The language used in your bio will place your profile in front of profiles that are deemed compatible with yours according to the algorithm.

Hire A Coach If You’ve Been Out Of The Game Too Long

Online dating is messy. So is being a newly single guy sometimes.

Things were simpler during the days when you’d hit on women in bars. But simple doesn’t necessarily mean better.

With online dating you can connect with singles far and wide any time you’d like. The only issue is understanding how to get the most out of dating apps.

Sure you can keep reading up and equipping yourself with info pertinent to online dating, or you can hire a coach.

When you enlist my services not only will you be teaming up with a tech-savvy dating coach, but also with a coach that understands how women operate in today’s modern world. What’s my secret? Well… I’m a woman. And I’ve been coaching guys just like you since 2012.

Newly single? No problem.

Dating has gotten quite a bit more interesting since the last time you were single. Allow me to be your wingwoman as we take on this new and vibrant dating scene.

Book a new client 1-on-1 Skype session today so that we can begin creating a tailor-made dating blueprint that works for you.