Here are the best gay dating apps, since meeting people IRL is hell
Dating. Whether you hate it a little or hate it a lot, it's a rite of passage for most of us.
It's also particularly challenging for members of the LGBTQ community, who've traditionally only had access to hetero-based sites and apps. When I was on the apps in the late aughts, queer women could barely be found. I met so many cis straight men who checked the "women seeking women" box so they could match with queer women who, they fantasized, would magically change their sexual orientation just for them. (Nope.)
SEE ALSO: The cast of 'Queer Eye' gives us their take on millennial trends
Some of that hasn't changed in 2018. But as the number of out LGBTQ people has grown, so too have their opportunities in online dating spaces. Queer-friendly dating apps and sites are multiplying, and there are even a few that are — wait for it — pretty damn good.
If you're LGBTQ and hate leaving your home, you're not alone. Here are the best dating apps and sites that'll maximize your opportunities while minimizing your human contact. Bless.
They're all worth a look or a swipe for that next hookup or serious relationship and are available on Android or iPhone. Some have paid versions, but prices aren't anywhere near the (ridiculous) ranks of the eharmonies of the world.
1. HER
HER is where you can meet nearby lesbians you never knew existed, plus read up on LGBTQ news and local events.- Free version: Yes
- Paid version: $9.99
Bonus: The site doesn't assume that all of their users are cis women and allows folks to identify as genderfluid, non-binary, and otherwise.
Details to remember:
- HER is totally free to download. Bonus services, including unlimited swipes and the opportunity to view who's liked you, are available via their subscription service, which starts at $9.99 per month.
- Accounts are verified and linked to people's Facebook profiles, so you're less likely to find fake profiles and trolls.
- There's less room for a bio in HER than there is on Hinge or Tinder. Users have to be incredibly selective about their words and corny jokes. It can sometimes take several message before you realize the person you're speaking with is way too into Harry Potter.
SEE ALSO: 7 of the best dating sites for lesbians (and why they are actually good)
2. Tinder
- Free version: Yes
- Tinder Plus: Starting at $2.99/month
- Tinder Gold: Starting at $4.99/month
In December of last year, however, Tinder came under fire after a group of reported that they'd been repeatedly kicked off the app. The users contended that they were removed from the site after male trolls submitted multiple false complaint reports. Despite all of this, Tinder has made notable efforts to be more trans and queer inclusive over the years by offering an above average number of gender options. That's more than most apps its size, which typically offer a grand total of ... two.
Details to remember:
1. Tinder is free to download. It also includes an optional tier for $4.99 a month that allows users to see who likes them.2. More than 50 million , and chances are you're going to see someone who you work with on the app. Awkward! Predictable!
3. Because of its popularity, Tinder is the app people love to hate. This doesn't mean the haters don't have a point, but in general, the quality of people you find on Tinder is no better or worse than you'll find anywhere else. No matter where you go in life, crappy people will follow <3 <3 <3. Have faith!
Check it out here.
It's unclear whether Chappy will produce longer and more satisfying relationships for me than traditional apps like Grindr. If nothing else, the app at least gives people the illusion that such a partnership is in their future. Delusions schelusions, we'll take it.
Details to remember:
1. Chappy is relatively small and young in app terms, so don't expect the overpopulated dating pool you might find on Grindr or Scruff.2. The app requires users to have Facebook for verification purposes, so it won't work for those who've rightfully abandoned the platform. You're disproportionately likely to find on the app.
3. Chappy is free to download, though as their user base grows, so too might potential in-app purchases.
Check it out here.
4. OkCupid
OkCupid's matchmaking algorithm plus its queer-friendly options makes for a massive LGBTQ following.- A-List Basic: Starting at $4.95/month
- Free version: Yes
- A-List Premium: Starting at $19.90/month
However, OkCupid was impressively much faster than other apps to expand their orientation and gender identity options. In 2014, OkCupid began offering their users more than a dozen different ways to identify. The app currently offers users 22 different genders and 13 orientations to choose from, and also includes helpful descriptions of each for folks who are unfamiliar with this kind of stuff.
And unlike Tinder, OkCupid gives so much more room for people to write profiles, answer questions, and explain their possibly questionable worldview. While it's impossible for the app to screen out all the haters, you can get a decent sense of user's views on trans and queer people and whether they're gonna be an asshole because you love cable TV.
Details to remember:
1. It's free to download, but you'll have to pay to enjoy their Premium A-list features.2. If you want more people to see your profile, you can pay to have it promoted like you would on Twitter.
3. collects really interesting data about users on their OkCupid blog. Sure, some of their data collection services might be a wee bit invasive, but I'm not aware of any services that aren't.
Check it out here.
5. Grindr
Grindr is a classic choice for gay men who want a ton of options, very little small talk, and instant meet-up opportunities.- Free version: Yes
- One month of Grindr XTRA: $9.99/month
- Three months of Grindr XTRA: $6.99/month
- Free version: Yes
Details to remember:
- Like most apps, Grindr is free to download but also offers additional features through its subscription service.
- Grindr is more than just dick pics, but it's also definitely dick pics.
- With close to 6 million monthly users, it's one of the largest apps in the game.
So, look: There are plenty of decent apps out there, and even more that are up-and-coming. For people who are queer and want to connect, fear not. There's no need to go to the cheesy bar down the block. Bust out your phone and let your index finger do the hard work.
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