Downside of dating apps

DrLurve is Australia’s leading love and relationship expert! Based in Sydney, she specialises in helping people navigate the science and metaphysics of relationships. A modern-day cupid for individuals discovering self-love, singles ready to find love and couples ready to make love last forever, she is the singular authority on how to make a long-lasting relationship. The Lurve Lab is Dr Lurve’s signature series of courses, seminars, talks and intensives for those ready to find, cultivate, and keep love. From discovering chemistry to transforming love gone wrong, Dr Lurve guides couples in creating connections that can last a lifetime. 

Let’s face it, dating can be daunting sometimes and trying to find a prospective partner can be time-consuming to say the least. We used to rely on friends and family setting us up with blind dates, going to dinner after dinner trying to find a keeper. That’s a lot of wasted makeup for a date that isn’t your type—what was Aunty Kate thinking?! In reality you can now find a match anywhere at any time, so we’ve compiled a list of positives and negatives that come with the online dating scene.

Pros:

One of the advantages of online dating is you can skip the hours of getting ready and instead get into your dressing gown, put on a face mask and watch Netflix while you scroll through potential lovers. 2019 is a magical time because you hardly need to leave your couch to potentially find a date—saving you time, money and energy on someone who you isn’t a great match for you, even if your Aunt thinks otherwise.

Thanks to advancements within dating apps, you can put filters in place so traits you desire in a potential lover will be top priority in your search. Being able to filter your preferred age, height, gender and location can help you find a match faster since filtering is something you just can’t achieve in real life.

Meeting people for the first time in social situations can have its share of awkward silences and downing drinks just to aide your anxiety. The beauty of the safety (inter)net is interacting with others without the panic sweats. You can meet people you’d never encounter in your own circle or take a chance by talking to someone you do know, but have never had the courage to privately speak to in person.

• Say yes to guilt-free dating

Since most dating apps are free it’s become easier than ever to find dates. Due to the number of potential partners you can find, having them all in one or two apps can make life less complicated when trying to find ‘the one’. Being able to message multiple people can help you narrow down who you want to meet and who you want to delete. And don’t feel guilty for chatting with others, it’s highly likely that every person you chat with is doing the same thing as you! While all these advantages are fantastic and make meeting someone more convenient, there can be some detrimental downsides to online dating that you need to be aware of before swiping right.

Cons:

Communicating with a prospective partner through a screen can be less stimulating and intimate than talking in face-to-face, this can also have an impact on how your relationship progresses. If the person you’re talking to is more comfortable chatting online than conversing with you over dinner, it might be time to move on. A relationship cannot survive without proper communication and the both of you being comfortable in each other’s company. Keep an eye out for those who say ‘I love talking to you’ but constantly flake on catching up.

People have the opportunity to be anyone they want to be behind the walls of the internet. Through your phone you might perceive them as genuine and funny, perhaps someone you could hold a conversation with over drinks, but once you meet they turn out to be quite creepy with your fight or flight mode ready to take action. When meeting someone unfamiliar, make sure a friend or family member knows who, when and where you’re meeting, safety is extremely important in these circumstances.

Different apps have different purposes, but the main goal is to find a partner—or so you would think. Sites like eHarmony and RSVP have a higher respectability rate than Tinder and Bumble (as found in a 2017 study), so what does that mean for those looking for a long-term relationship? With Tinder boasting 26+ million matches per day worldwide, people that have it, along with Bumble, may say they’re looking for a relationship but you’ll have to take that with a pinch of salt. While some people may genuinely be looking for their perfect ‘one’, others will be searching for their perfect ‘one night stand’—keep your heart open but not on your sleeve.
Whether you’re new to the online dating game or have been using apps for a while now, it’s always important to prioritise your safety. Dating can be a fun and exciting time as you get to meet new people and flings can turn into meaningful relationships, remember to enjoy the ride and the search for your perfect match, even Princess Tiana had to kiss a few frogs!