Guy i was dating talked down to me

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He texts you every day… often multiple times a day.

But he hasn’t once called you up to talk on the phone.

You find this slightly strange because you enjoy speaking on the phone.

Being able to hear his voice on a call makes the whole thing more real and builds that connection with him.

So why doesn’t he want to call you?

There are several reasons why a guy might prefer texting over phone calls.

1. He finds talking on the phone nerve-wracking.

People of all genders can have a phobia of phone calls.

If a guy is happy to text, but avoids phone calls at all costs, it might be that he gets anxious at the very thought of them.

He might find himself stumbling over his words, particularly at the beginning of a phone call, and so he texts to avoid this potential cause of embarrassment.

He might feel the same way about meeting in person, but whilst texting is an adequate substitute for calling, there isn’t any way to replicate a face-to-face meeting.

2. He finds talking on the phone awkward.

Phone calls are not the same as speaking in person.

There are no body language cues to pick up on, no surroundings to look at together, and no physical touch.

These things help him to gauge your feelings and how best to respond to something you say.

And whilst silence does not have to feel awkward when you are together physically, it almost always does on the phone.

He might feel under pressure to fill the gaps in conversation that will inevitably occur.

Silence isn’t an issue with texting, and neither is awkwardness for the most part.

3. He can consider his response over text.

Sure, texting can give rise to miscommunication because written words can be easily misconstrued…

…but at the very least it gives him time to think about what he wants to say.

When you’re on a call, that response has to be almost immediate, and this can lead to plenty of ‘foot-in-mouth’ moments where you say something inconsiderate or downright hurtful because you weren’t really thinking.

A guy might choose texts over calls simply because it allows him to gather his thoughts before choosing what to say.

4. He can get straight to the point in a text.

Perhaps it’s a stereotype, but men aren’t so keen on small talk.

They prefer to get straight down to business.

But calls inevitably require some form of pleasantries and chit chat.

Whilst it’s quick and easy to arrange when you are next meeting up over text, a call would involve a much lengthier conversation.

So perhaps he texts you every day instead of calling because it’s more in line with his communication style.

5. He prefers to do most of his talking face-to-face.

When a guy does want to have a proper conversation, he’s much more likely to want to do it in person.

Maybe it’s because of the physical cues or facial expressions that he likes to read.

Perhaps it’s because he just believes that speaking face-to-face is more intimate and meaningful.

Or it might be that he enjoys actually doing something together and talking as you go, rather than just sitting and having a conversation.

6. He can do other things whilst texting.

A phone call requires you to stop what you are doing and focus your attention on the conversation.

Texting doesn’t require that same level of commitment.

You can easily do something else whilst still responding to texts every now and then.

Whilst you may want to give your full attention to him and receive his full attention in return, he may prefer the ease of dipping in and out of a conversation at his leisure.

Does It Mean He Likes Me Any Less?

You may be wondering why he texts instead of calls because you worry it means he doesn’t like you.

Maybe you think he’s just keeping you on the backburner whilst looking for someone else to date.

Chances are this is not the case.

Just because he prefers to communicate via text, it doesn’t mean he likes you any less.

What really counts is how he behaves around and toward you when you spend time in each other’s company.

If he’s playful, romantic, and shows lots of affection, he’s certainly into you.

If he’s withdrawn, distracted, and doesn’t do anything nice for you, maybe he’s not that into you.

His chosen method of communication shouldn’t affect how he feels about you, or how you feel about him.

How Can I Get Him To Call More?

Even if a guy doesn’t like calling you, there are things you can do to encourage him.

1. Call him.

There’s absolutely no reason why you can’t call him instead of waiting for him to call you.

It’s not forward or needy – it’s just the reverse of what you are expecting of him.

What’s more, if he has a phone phobia, the very act of dialling your number is likely to be the hardest part for him.

It’s a lot easier to answer a call than to initiate one.

2. Start short.

Whether he calls you or you call him, keep the conversations short – at least, to begin with.

This will make calling you feel less of a commitment (or at the very worst, a chore).

If he knows that he can be on and off a call within 10 minutes, he’s more likely to initiate one.

The more phone conversations you have, the more he’ll get used to them, and the easier it will be to gradually eek them out in length.

3. Tell him that you like to hear his voice.

Guys don’t always need the same things as girls in order to feel or build a bond.

If you really like to hear his voice, tell him this.

Not only will it make him feel good, it might just inspire him to pick up the phone and give you a call.

After all, he’s not a mind reader and if you haven’t told him how much you enjoy phone calls, how is he meant to know?

4. Schedule things in.

If you are in a relationship with this guy and it’s starting to get serious, you’re not expecting too much to want to speak with them most days.

So make it easy for your man. Schedule in a particular time on specific days when you will chat on the phone.

Maybe you see each other at the weekends, but weeknights are more of a struggle because of work or distance.

Ask him if he would be happy to jump on a quick call every Tuesday and Thursday evening (or whatever days work for your schedules).

This way, he’ll know what your expectations are and can plan ahead to make sure he is free.

Scheduling time for a phone call might sound the polar opposite of romance, but it’s just one of the more practical ways a relationship can thrive and prosper.

Still not sure what to do about this guy’s reluctance to call you? Chat online to a relationship expert from Relationship Hero who can help you figure things out. Simply click here to chat.

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