Dating multiple guys from hinge

I like to think of myself as a soldier for the single woman, nothing appeals to me less than accounting for another person’s whims and wishes when I barely have time for my own nonsense. However, if there’s ever been a time to question my commitment to singledom, it's Christmas, and everything we've been through with lockdown. So, in an attempt to make a connection that will provide more substance than the one-night-stand army that has currently invaded Tinder, I downloaded Hinge.

First of all, what is Hinge?

That is Hinge’s raison d’etre, it sells itself as Match.com for the younger crowd, without Tinder’s superficial swiping, and its slogan is literally 'designed to be deleted'. It used to have the same function as Tinder when it came to swiping, but has increasingly adapted to the ever-evolving intricacies of online dating, ridding the surface-level swiping and installing a ‘Your Turn’ reminder to reply to messages, a tactic built to decrease ghosting.

So how does Hinge work?

When you install Hinge, you can do so using Facebook or your mobile number. I chose, Facebook because I’m lazy, and I clearly don’t care about hacking apparently. Hinge apparently uses 'a sophisticated algorithm' to help facilitate connections, having previously used your Facebook friends. When you first start your profile, alongside uploading your Facebook profile pictures, which are automatically pulled through to the app, you’re asked to choose three questions to answer. Cue sheer panic.

Now I’m quite the keyboard warrior when it comes to witty remarks, my Instagram captions could honestly be entered into awards, but this shook me to my core. Not only do you have to choose a fun, quirky question that will adequately express your personality, but then also think of an equally funny answer? It’s a sweat-inducing prospect, and while clearly meant to be all fun and games, with these people deciding whether our personalities are compatible before even having a conversation, it’s far too much pressure to put on three questions as far as I’m concerned.

With your string of images and three questions laid out, your profile can also include your age, height, job, location, political leanings and whether you drink, smoke or do drugs. Then your free to roam. When someone likes you, they have to match a certain thing on your profile, whether it’s liking a picture or commenting on one of your answers. You get a notification, and you can choose to reply, remove, or just click match and then leave them to initiate conversation. When it’s your turn to reply, you’ll be told so, no ghosting here ladies (unless you ignore the notification like I do very regularly, oops).

How is Hinge different to other dating apps?

As an avid online dater, how did my venture into Hinge compare to other apps? Well within minutes of my first conversation on the app, I’d been invited to Lisbon for a first date – all expenses paid. 'Is this a great start or am I accidently venturing into escorting?' I thought to myself. My next few conversations were very classic - 'How’s it going?” being the opening line of choice for many. Better than the peach or cheeky monkey emoji openers I’m used to on Tinder though.

On that note, one thing I did notice that I didn’t expect was that the women on Hinge are actually much more like the Tinder lads I’m used to. For reference, my male Tinder matches almost always start the conversation commenting on my body, whereas the women tend more towards a nice, simple, 'How are you?'. On Hinge however, that’s flipped on its head, with many more women opening simply with 'Ass' than men…literally what do you respond to that under any circumstance?!

Why have women become the LADSLADSLADS of Hinge? I honestly couldn’t tell you. I’m leaning towards to the fact that I match more women on Hinge than Tinder and so am subject to a greater experience of f*ckgirls. However, the positive takeaway there is that for the bisexual and pansexual communities, Hinge seems to show me equally as many women as men compared to Tinder, where I see one woman for about every tenth man.

Bumble is very much the same, but on the bright side I haven’t had anywhere near as many peach emoji openers from either women or men. In terms of starting an actual conversation after matching, Bumble and Hinge are on par, Tinder however is worlds above and is basically a match to conversation guarantee. I take full blame for the lack of conversation on Bumble, since you know I’m the one that’s meant to start the conversation (for my male matches) and I’m often too disinterested to come up with a decent opener. However, Hinge is an equal playing field, and I’ve found more matches than ever will ghost as soon as you ask them to initiate conversation.

It could be the blatant hook-up culture on Tinder that means conversations are initiated immediately, but I think it’s more likely that on Tinder, you’re not expected to put actual effort in. Hinge and Bumble, you need to think before you speak, and how many of us on online dating apps are actually on there to start a relationship? Are most of us not just passing the time during the boring parts of a Netflix binge, or boosting our egos after failing to pull IRL on Saturday night?

How does Hinge most compatible work?

Perhaps this general indifference, or despair at meeting someone actually decent within a 10-mile radius of your home, is why Hinge has introduced their ‘most compatible’ feature. Intended to push you towards those you’re most inclined to like, this feature uses a Nobel-Prize-winning algorithm (for a service to shagging I can only assume), that learns from users’ preferences through their liking and passing activity, and pairs them with those who best align. When you’re paired with someone, you appear at the top of their feed as you do theirs. It’s a nice idea, but also means if you don’t like their profile you’re probably living in denial about what’s good for you and destined to failed romance, not to get super dark about it.

How does Hinge preferred work?

If I’ve suitably ruined your mood for romance, no fear, there are positive ways to invest in your dating future on the app. While Hinge is free to download, there’s to upgrade to for ‘Preferred Membership’. It costs $12.99 a month, or $4.99 if you commit to online dating for 6 months. But what are you paying for? Apparently, twice as many dates (statistically, you’re not literally forced on a date or anything), the ability to send unlimited likes (I didn’t even realise I had limited likes to be honest), can set greater preferences for education, family plans and vices PLUS you have access to dating experts. That might honestly be worth it, at least when it comes to my dating life, Millionaire Matchmaker really screwed up my idea of dating.

Another useful feature of Hinge Preferred is the ability to see everyone who likes you. As a free member, I can only see them one at a time, and so have to reject one by one as I go through them. For me, that’s honestly a lot of admin… did I mention I’m super lazy?

What are the best answers to the Hinge questions?

With laziness in mind, it’s time I introduce you to the easiest way to guarantee matches on Hinge, and that’s some fool-proof responses to the best answers section of your profile. Hinge IRL, they’re platform for ‘advice and insight into modern daters’, is a secret haven of Hinge success, and contains a series of articles detailing the best responses to various questions. Including the words to avoid and the best answers their data scientists have seen in terms of the most engagement, for each individual prompt, there’s a ‘best answers’ guide on Hinge IRL. Here’s a snapshot of their top seven best answers to ‘Most spontaneous thing I’ve done’ and 'Last meal' prompts...

So basically, the weirder your life has been, the better. Their generic advice across the board when to comes to the best answers is to create detailed answers, and paradoxically both being as weird as possible and as basic bitch as possible will equally get you more likes and comments, so it all really depends on who you’re looking to attract. Women, we have two choices: weirdos or basics. That is my takeaway.

And honestly, that sums up my entire online dating experience. Whether it’s Tinder, Hinge or Bumble, be warned: the weirdos are everywhere, the basics are everywhere, you just have to hope one of them is the exact mix of weirdo and basic that you yourself are. I’m yet to find that unicorn, but I have faith in your abilities more than mine…