Dating a guy who listens - apologise
Dating a guy who listens - apologise, but
Use this ‘sibling test’ to work out if the guy you’re dating listens to you
The feeling of talking at rather than with them on a date is so agonising.
If you’re a space-filler in conversations you’ll know it well; trying desperately to make things light and breezy with a non-responsive dating partner before checking your watch and loudly proclaiming ‘Wow, is it that time already?!’.
There’s a distinct line, though, between talking nonsense during awkward silences and purposefully dominating conversations, never letting your date get a word in edgeways.
On a great date, chat goes back and forth and flows effortlessly.
However I – and clearly thousands more women – have had to sit through many monologues about a guy’s grand plans, only to get no interest or questioning in return.
Oftentimes it’ll be disguised as passion. Who doesn’t love a guy who loves what he does after all?
If we fancy them and are interested in what they’re saying, it’s easy to overlook in the moment that they haven’t actually asked us about ourselves at all.
There’s often a chattier one in a relationship, and he seems to listen to what you say when you do talk, so it’s no harm no foul.
Twitter user Bolu Babalola has found a way to work out if this power dynamic in conversations has become far too one-sided, though. Behold, the sibling test:
I feel like showing an interest in someone's life is one of the most basic ways of demonstrating affection & yet so many men stumble at this very low bar&would rather talk for an hour about their screenplay idea that is essentially Entourage with a time travel/crime caper twist
— bolu babalola (@BeeBabs) March 3, 2018
The sibling test is my favourite. Most times a woman knows how many siblings a guy has before he knows how many she has (social media surveillance notwithstanding. thanks)
— bolu babalola (@BeeBabs) March 3, 2018
Is she a genius, or is she a genius?
Try it today. Ask your new bae whether they know how many siblings you have. Watch them squirm as they count on their fingers or stare blankly into space trying to recount anything… ANYTHING personal you’ve ever told them.
I realised what an issue this had become in my own life when a new guy I’m seeing asked about a work thing I’d mentioned in passing.
How ridiculous that this was the first time in ages a date was taking an interest in me, and I didn’t feel like a burden because he seemed to genuinely want to know the answer.
More: UK
I urge you all to have a real think about whether you’re the one bearing the brunt of the listening in a relationship.
The predicted results: Disappointed, but not surprised.
MORE : Why I don’t date outside my class
MORE : Meet the woman trying to help you reclaim your time – and money – from f***boys
-
-
-